Father of the Bride Speech Jokes

Updated October 2017  – A wedding is not just special for the happy couple, it is an equally important day for the father of the bride as he entrusts his daughter and her future to another man.

While the father of the bride’s speech is typically all about letting his daughter know just how cherished she is, welcoming her new husband into the family along with his parents and letting the groom know exactly what he is store for…it doesn’t have to be all serious.

Yes, a father of the bride should raise various toasts as he kicks off the speeches from the top table, but his speech can – and should – have a hint of humour to it too. If you’re not sure, see our father of the bride speech template and build your speech from that, or if you a planning to keep things brief use our short father of the bride speech.

Father of the Bride Speech Jokes


The father of the bride doesn’t have to play second fiddle and simply be the warm up act for the best man and the groom – these father of the bride speech examples underline that. Father of the bride speech can have one or two jokes – or even more if you’re that way inclined – smattered through it. In fact, it can be just as funny as those still to come.

But what sort of jokes are right for the occasion? Let’s have a look!

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Father of the Bride Speech Jokes

About Your Daughter

A bit of gentle humour towards your daughter will be well received. Don’t upset her, but you should be able to poke fun a bit.

“I never thought this day would arrive when you got married. But now I’ve finally got my bathroom back!”

“I’ve been her father for a long time and I’ve seen her be sick, wet herself and cry herself to sleep. But enough about her 18th birthday.”

“If you don’t know who I am already, I’m the bride, Donna’s, father. Growing up through she called me a lot of other names though. Daddy was popular. But so was Visa, Mastercard and American Express.”

Advice To The Groom

As the father of the bride, you’ve almost certainly got some knowledge of what married life will have in store for the new couple. As a man, it’s only fair to give the groom one or two nuggets of information to take forward into his new life.

“Joe, now that you’re married remember that when you have a discussion with your wife, always remember to get the last two words in: “Yes dear..

“The most effective way to remember your wedding anniversary is to forget once.”

“Whenever you’re wrong, admit it. Whenever you’re right, shut up.”

“There are only two times in a man’s life when he can’t understand a woman – before marriage and after marriage.”

“I have no doubt of Paul’s qualities as a husband, but as a son-in-law we’ll have to see. Will he pop round to see us every Sunday, or will I continue to have to mow the lawn myself?”

“There was this man who muttered a few words in the church and found himself married. A year later he muttered something in his sleep and found himself divorced. Don’t be that man.”

About Marriage

Give the new couple some guidance on life as a married couple. The guests at the wedding breakfast will undoubtedly all have some experience of the things you’re telling them if you use some of these jokes in your father of the bride speech.

“My wife says I never listen, or something like that.”

“It doesn’t matter how often a married man changes his job, he still ends up with the same boss.”

“Happy marriages are a matter of give and take. The husband gives, the wife takes.”

“You never know what true happiness is until you get married – but by then it’s too late of course.”

“They say love is blind. But I’ll tell you something, marriage is a real eye-opener and you’re about to find out!”

Famous Funny Quotes

Sometimes well-known quotes or phrases can be added in the mix for an extra punch. They may be heard before but they’ll still provide a chuckle.

“Being a good husband is like being a stand-up comic. You need ten years before you can call yourself a beginner.” —Jerry Seinfeld

“Before you marry a person you should first make them use a computer with slow Internet to see who they really are.” – Will Ferrell

“Don’t marry for money; you can borrow it cheaper.” – Scottish Proverb

“If you want your wife to listen to you, then talk to another woman: she will be all ears.” – Sigmund Freud

“Keep your eyes wide open before marriage, half shut afterwards.” – Benjamin Franklin