{"id":1160,"date":"2010-11-02T08:17:52","date_gmt":"2010-11-02T13:17:52","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.topweddingsites.com\/wedding-blog\/?p=1160"},"modified":"2017-03-14T12:59:12","modified_gmt":"2017-03-14T16:59:12","slug":"the-no-drama-wedding-handling-difficult-family-members-part-1","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.topweddingsites.com\/wedding-blog\/wedding-planning\/the-no-drama-wedding-handling-difficult-family-members-part-1","title":{"rendered":"Dealing With Difficult People | 3 Steps To Take For A Stress Free Wedding"},"content":{"rendered":"<figure id=\"attachment_10773\" aria-describedby=\"caption-attachment-10773\" style=\"width: 768px\" class=\"wp-caption aligncenter\"><a href=\"http:\/\/www.topweddingsites.com\/wedding-blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2010\/11\/origin_292255140.jpg\"><img decoding=\"async\" loading=\"lazy\" class=\" wp-image-10773 \" alt=\"dealing with difficult people\" src=\"http:\/\/www.topweddingsites.com\/wedding-blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2010\/11\/origin_292255140-1024x552.jpg\" width=\"768\" height=\"414\" \/><figcaption id=\"caption-attachment-10773\" class=\"wp-caption-text\"><noscript><img decoding=\"async\" class=\" wp-image-10773 \" alt=\"dealing with difficult people\" src=\"http:\/\/www.topweddingsites.com\/wedding-blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2010\/11\/origin_292255140-1024x552.jpg\" width=\"768\" height=\"414\" \/><\/noscript><\/a> photo credit: <a href=\"http:\/\/www.flickr.com\/photos\/captured-spirit_\/292255140\/\">smile4camera<\/a> via <a href=\"http:\/\/photopin.com\">photopin<\/a> <a href=\"http:\/\/creativecommons.org\/licenses\/by\/2.0\/\">cc<\/a><\/figcaption><\/figure>\n<p>Difficult people. Drama. It can make or break the most important day of your life. We&#8217;ve all seen movies depicting our worst nightmares. You know&#8230;that naughty little nephew sending your perfect, thousand dollar, designer cake flying through the air&#8230;the drunken best man&#8217;s embarrassing toast&#8230;monsters-in-law. Shudder to think! How do you walk that delicate tightrope line between bickering, divorced parents and overbearing but well-meaning Aunt Gertrude, and still have your perfect wedding day? Dealing with difficult people is an important part of creating a stress free wedding.<\/p>\n<p>Now that I&#8217;ve all but killed your engagement buzz, let me share a little secret! The key to controlling difficult people and difficult family members during the wedding planning process is all in how you handle it. &#8220;But you don&#8217;t understand; my family invented drama!&#8221; You wail. Trust me. The longer I live, the more I realize that every family is almost as crazy as mine. Keeping family drama to a minimum is as easy as saying &#8220;I do!&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>Great news: your engagement is the natural time to set boundaries. Realize now that you are marrying the person of your dreams&#8211;and his\/her family! Use this time between the romantic proposal and saying &#8220;I do&#8221; to teach each other and your difficult family members how to treat you. Take a look at how you handle yourself.\u00a0 Are you a doormat? Do you let others walk all over you, wiping their shoes on your pretty white slacks without comment? Maybe you&#8217;re a Prima Donna? Do you routinely expect others to do your bidding? Chances are that if you&#8217;re somewhere in between, you&#8217;re not dealing with these difficult people at all, so grab a cocktail and put your feet up.<\/p>\n<figure id=\"attachment_10774\" aria-describedby=\"caption-attachment-10774\" style=\"width: 640px\" class=\"wp-caption aligncenter\"><a href=\"http:\/\/www.topweddingsites.com\/wedding-blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2010\/11\/medium_2766246136.jpg\"><img decoding=\"async\" loading=\"lazy\" class=\"size-full wp-image-10774\" alt=\"difficult people\" src=\"http:\/\/www.topweddingsites.com\/wedding-blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2010\/11\/medium_2766246136.jpg\" width=\"640\" height=\"640\" srcset=\"https:\/\/www.topweddingsites.com\/wedding-blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2010\/11\/medium_2766246136.jpg 640w, https:\/\/www.topweddingsites.com\/wedding-blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2010\/11\/medium_2766246136-300x300.jpg 300w, https:\/\/www.topweddingsites.com\/wedding-blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2010\/11\/medium_2766246136-500x500.jpg 500w, https:\/\/www.topweddingsites.com\/wedding-blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2010\/11\/medium_2766246136-293x293.jpg 293w, https:\/\/www.topweddingsites.com\/wedding-blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2010\/11\/medium_2766246136-100x100.jpg 100w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 640px) 100vw, 640px\" \/><figcaption id=\"caption-attachment-10774\" class=\"wp-caption-text\"><noscript><img decoding=\"async\" class=\"size-full wp-image-10774\" alt=\"difficult people\" src=\"http:\/\/www.topweddingsites.com\/wedding-blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2010\/11\/medium_2766246136.jpg\" width=\"640\" height=\"640\" srcset=\"https:\/\/www.topweddingsites.com\/wedding-blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2010\/11\/medium_2766246136.jpg 640w, https:\/\/www.topweddingsites.com\/wedding-blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2010\/11\/medium_2766246136-300x300.jpg 300w, https:\/\/www.topweddingsites.com\/wedding-blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2010\/11\/medium_2766246136-500x500.jpg 500w, https:\/\/www.topweddingsites.com\/wedding-blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2010\/11\/medium_2766246136-293x293.jpg 293w, https:\/\/www.topweddingsites.com\/wedding-blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2010\/11\/medium_2766246136-100x100.jpg 100w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 640px) 100vw, 640px\" \/><\/noscript><\/a> photo credit: <a href=\"http:\/\/www.flickr.com\/photos\/michale\/2766246136\/\">michale<\/a> via <a href=\"http:\/\/photopin.com\">photopin<\/a> <a href=\"http:\/\/creativecommons.org\/licenses\/by\/2.0\/\">cc<\/a><\/figcaption><\/figure>\n<p><strong>Doormats<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>Speaking up in a gentle, loving way is easier when you interject a bit of rehearsed language, and humor is a nice lubricant for getting those difficult words out. Difficult family members rarely want to wish anybody harm so always assume positive intent. Practice a couple of key phrases that feel good to you. For example, you want a black tie affair. Because you are so considerate of others&#8217; feelings, the bridesmaids dresses you&#8217;ve selected are a classy little black dress that flatters everyone, something the girls will actually wear again! Your mother-in-law-to-be insists that since she&#8217;s paying for them, your bridesmaids will be wearing a frilly hot pink number with icky green polka dots. Gulp. What do you do?<\/p>\n<figure id=\"attachment_10775\" aria-describedby=\"caption-attachment-10775\" style=\"width: 800px\" class=\"wp-caption aligncenter\"><a href=\"http:\/\/www.topweddingsites.com\/wedding-blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2010\/11\/medium_11637373744.jpg\"><img decoding=\"async\" loading=\"lazy\" class=\"size-full wp-image-10775\" alt=\"difficult family members\" src=\"http:\/\/www.topweddingsites.com\/wedding-blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2010\/11\/medium_11637373744.jpg\" width=\"800\" height=\"534\" srcset=\"https:\/\/www.topweddingsites.com\/wedding-blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2010\/11\/medium_11637373744.jpg 800w, https:\/\/www.topweddingsites.com\/wedding-blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2010\/11\/medium_11637373744-300x200.jpg 300w, https:\/\/www.topweddingsites.com\/wedding-blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2010\/11\/medium_11637373744-768x513.jpg 768w, https:\/\/www.topweddingsites.com\/wedding-blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2010\/11\/medium_11637373744-500x334.jpg 500w, https:\/\/www.topweddingsites.com\/wedding-blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2010\/11\/medium_11637373744-749x500.jpg 749w, https:\/\/www.topweddingsites.com\/wedding-blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2010\/11\/medium_11637373744-672x449.jpg 672w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 800px) 100vw, 800px\" \/><figcaption id=\"caption-attachment-10775\" class=\"wp-caption-text\"><noscript><img decoding=\"async\" class=\"size-full wp-image-10775\" alt=\"difficult family members\" src=\"http:\/\/www.topweddingsites.com\/wedding-blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2010\/11\/medium_11637373744.jpg\" width=\"800\" height=\"534\" srcset=\"https:\/\/www.topweddingsites.com\/wedding-blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2010\/11\/medium_11637373744.jpg 800w, https:\/\/www.topweddingsites.com\/wedding-blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2010\/11\/medium_11637373744-300x200.jpg 300w, https:\/\/www.topweddingsites.com\/wedding-blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2010\/11\/medium_11637373744-768x513.jpg 768w, https:\/\/www.topweddingsites.com\/wedding-blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2010\/11\/medium_11637373744-500x334.jpg 500w, https:\/\/www.topweddingsites.com\/wedding-blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2010\/11\/medium_11637373744-749x500.jpg 749w, https:\/\/www.topweddingsites.com\/wedding-blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2010\/11\/medium_11637373744-672x449.jpg 672w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 800px) 100vw, 800px\" \/><\/noscript><\/a> photo credit: <a href=\"http:\/\/www.flickr.com\/photos\/jeremybrooks\/11637373744\/\">Jeremy Brooks<\/a> via <a href=\"http:\/\/photopin.com\">photopin<\/a> <a href=\"http:\/\/creativecommons.org\/licenses\/by-nc\/2.0\/\">cc<\/a><\/figcaption><\/figure>\n<p>1. Immediately consult with your maid of honor. She will feel so good to be exercising her special role for your big day!<\/p>\n<p>2. Together, work up an opening phrase. Something like &#8220;Joan, thanks so much for agreeing to purchase the bridal party&#8217;s gowns&#8221;.<\/p>\n<p>3. Come up with two acceptable choices, and be sure to state the challenge in a way that includes your MIL2b. &#8220;We&#8217;ve found a dress which flatters each bridesmaid, and one that they can wear at dinner parties later!&#8221;\u00a0 If she says, &#8220;well, what about the cute ones I picked out?&#8221; you can respectfully respond by touching her arm while stating, &#8220;yes, the festive fabric you&#8217;ve chosen will be perfect for your grandchild&#8217;s baby shower!&#8221;\u00a0 If she doesn&#8217;t melt with delight over the prospect, offer her a choice. &#8220;and the bridesmaids are willing to pay for their own if that works better for you.&#8221; Once you&#8217;ve shared your rehearsed phrases with her, just smile. Do NOT say another word. Let her fill the silence with a response, and you have instantly turned the tables in your favor without ugly accusations, painful insults, or obnoxious threats. Once you&#8217;ve done so, you have commanded respect in a gentle, diplomatic way that will establish important boundaries with this VIP.<\/p>\n<h6 class=\"zemanta-related-title\" style=\"font-size: 1em;\">Related articles<\/h6>\n<ul class=\"zemanta-article-ul zemanta-article-ul-image\" style=\"margin: 0; padding: 0; overflow: hidden;\">\n<li class=\"zemanta-article-ul-li-image zemanta-article-ul-li\" style=\"padding: 0; background: none; list-style: none; display: block; float: left; vertical-align: top; text-align: left; width: 84px; font-size: 11px; margin: 2px 10px 10px 2px;\"><a style=\"box-shadow: 0px 0px 4px #999; padding: 2px; display: block; border-radius: 2px; text-decoration: none;\" href=\"http:\/\/www.topweddingsites.com\/wedding-blog\/wedding-planning\/ultimate-wedding-week-checklist-free-print-out\" target=\"_blank\"><img decoding=\"async\" loading=\"lazy\" style=\"padding: 0; margin: 0; border: 0; display: block; width: 80px; max-width: 100%;\" alt=\"\" src=\"http:\/\/i.zemanta.com\/252297524_80_80.jpg\" \/><noscript><img decoding=\"async\" style=\"padding: 0; margin: 0; border: 0; display: block; width: 80px; max-width: 100%;\" alt=\"\" src=\"http:\/\/i.zemanta.com\/252297524_80_80.jpg\" \/><\/noscript><\/a><a style=\"display: block; overflow: hidden; text-decoration: none; line-height: 12pt; height: 83px; padding: 5px 2px 0 2px; background-image: none;\" href=\"http:\/\/www.topweddingsites.com\/wedding-blog\/wedding-planning\/ultimate-wedding-week-checklist-free-print-out\" target=\"_blank\">Ultimate Wedding Week Checklist: Free Print-Out!<\/a><\/li>\n<li class=\"zemanta-article-ul-li-image zemanta-article-ul-li\" style=\"padding: 0; background: none; list-style: none; display: block; float: left; vertical-align: top; text-align: left; width: 84px; font-size: 11px; margin: 2px 10px 10px 2px;\"><a style=\"box-shadow: 0px 0px 4px #999; padding: 2px; display: block; border-radius: 2px; text-decoration: none;\" href=\"http:\/\/www.topweddingsites.com\/wedding-blog\/wedding-photography\/planning-your-wedding-remember-to-enjoy-it\" target=\"_blank\"><img decoding=\"async\" loading=\"lazy\" style=\"padding: 0; margin: 0; border: 0; display: block; width: 80px; max-width: 100%;\" alt=\"\" src=\"http:\/\/i.zemanta.com\/252389443_80_80.jpg\" \/><noscript><img decoding=\"async\" style=\"padding: 0; margin: 0; border: 0; display: block; width: 80px; max-width: 100%;\" alt=\"\" src=\"http:\/\/i.zemanta.com\/252389443_80_80.jpg\" \/><\/noscript><\/a><a style=\"display: block; overflow: hidden; text-decoration: none; line-height: 12pt; height: 83px; padding: 5px 2px 0 2px; background-image: none;\" href=\"http:\/\/www.topweddingsites.com\/wedding-blog\/wedding-photography\/planning-your-wedding-remember-to-enjoy-it\" target=\"_blank\">Planning Your Wedding? 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Crew Wedding Event Sale<\/a><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<div class=\"zemanta-pixie\" style=\"margin-top: 10px; height: 15px;\"><a class=\"zemanta-pixie-a\" title=\"Enhanced by Zemanta\" href=\"http:\/\/www.zemanta.com\/?px\"><\/a><\/div>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Difficult people. Drama. It can make or break the most important day of your life. We&#8217;ve all seen movies depicting our worst nightmares. You know&#8230;that naughty little nephew sending your perfect, thousand dollar, designer cake flying through the air&#8230;the drunken best man&#8217;s embarrassing toast&#8230;monsters-in-law. Shudder to think! How do you walk that delicate tightrope line between bickering, divorced parents and overbearing but well-meaning Aunt Gertrude, and still have your perfect wedding day? Dealing with difficult people is an important part [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":10775,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[488,19],"tags":[396,1809,1860,1859,1766],"class_list":["post-1160","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-no-drama-wedding-wedding-planning","category-wedding-planning","tag-no-drama-wedding","tag-stress-free-wedding","tag-stressed-bride","tag-stressful-wedding","tag-wedding-stress"],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v26.9 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/product\/yoast-seo-wordpress\/ -->\n<title>Dealing With Difficult People | 3 Steps To Take For A Stress Free Wedding | | TopWeddingSites.com<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"Learn how not to be a doormat and get to a stress free wedding. 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