{"id":1275,"date":"2010-11-18T21:40:34","date_gmt":"2010-11-19T02:40:34","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.topweddingsites.com\/wedding-blog\/?p=1275"},"modified":"2011-01-02T12:49:37","modified_gmt":"2011-01-02T17:49:37","slug":"the-no-drama-wedding-help-for-the-bride-who-%e2%80%9chas-it-all%e2%80%9d","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.topweddingsites.com\/wedding-blog\/wedding-planning\/the-no-drama-wedding-help-for-the-bride-who-%e2%80%9chas-it-all%e2%80%9d","title":{"rendered":"The No Drama Wedding: Help for the Bride who \u201chas it all\u201d!"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>Your wedding: one of the biggest moments of your life. \u00a0From the finest cuisine to imported flowers, and of course that jaw-dropping gown, you\u2019ve dreamed of every detail culminating in one picture-perfect event. The day you marry is one you\u2019ve been waiting for with sleepless anticipation.<\/p>\n<p>But wait! You didn\u2019t count on one thing: the human factor. Suppose you\u2019re used to things going your way. You know what I mean\u2026all your life things have run smoothly, as long as people just kick back and enjoy the ride.\u00a0 Your friends watch the flicks you\u2019re dying to see.\u00a0 Your fianc\u00e9 eats in restaurants you rave about.\u00a0 When you were little, if Mom told you no, you went to Daddy. You are adored and even envied by many. You are the Bride Who Has It All.<\/p>\n<p>Things just work in your world, or at least they have until now. Sure, you\u2019re marrying the person of your dreams, and yes, Daddy sprung for that haute couture gown you saw on that exclusive Bridal Show runway. And you\u2019re beginning to wonder, \u201cwhat\u2019s all the fuss about when picking bridal party wear?!\u201d <em>Your<\/em> bridesmaids unanimously agreed that your one-of-a-kind theme dresses were \u201ctotally you.\u201d So what\u2019s the problem? Newcomers who just don\u2019t recognize that your way is the way it should be&#8211;<em>especially on your wedding day<\/em>. Duh!<\/p>\n<p>How to remedy this vexing problem?<\/p>\n<p>Let\u2019s say this particular human happens to be the most important new woman in your life. You\u2019ve led a charmed life for as long as you can remember, but tension between you and MIL2B has put a bee in your bonnet, or shall we say, smudged that fresh pedicure. Well, my dear, this is your chance to receive the gift of a lifetime.<\/p>\n<figure id=\"attachment_1276\" aria-describedby=\"caption-attachment-1276\" style=\"width: 221px\" class=\"wp-caption alignleft\"><a href=\"http:\/\/www.topweddingsites.com\/wedding-blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2010\/11\/Image1.gif\"><img decoding=\"async\" loading=\"lazy\" class=\"size-medium wp-image-1276\" title=\"Mother-in-law and Future Daughter-in-law\" src=\"http:\/\/www.topweddingsites.com\/wedding-blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2010\/11\/Image1-221x300.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"221\" height=\"300\" \/><noscript><img decoding=\"async\" class=\"size-medium wp-image-1276\" title=\"Mother-in-law and Future Daughter-in-law\" src=\"http:\/\/www.topweddingsites.com\/wedding-blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2010\/11\/Image1-221x300.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"221\" height=\"300\" \/><\/noscript><\/a><figcaption id=\"caption-attachment-1276\" class=\"wp-caption-text\">Future Mother-in-Law and Bride<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n<p>Notice that I said \u201cyour chance.\u201d\u00a0 Of course you may choose any path you deem fit, but when it comes to weddings and drama, there can be muddy trails. Why not stick to the red carpet? Let\u2019s say that MIL2B wants to help but has\u2026er&#8230;dare we say\u2026atrocious taste. Of course you\u2019ve got every detail handled, but she is wiggling with excitement over her child\u2019s big day. Now, I realize that from your present perspective it\u2019s cut and dried: you\u2019ve got it dialed. She\u2019s not helping. End of story.<\/p>\n<p>Let\u2019s look ahead a few years, sort of like Scrooge with that creepy future ghost. Here\u2019s how it could look later on, from two different paths. First path seems tidy and manicured, like your decision to stick with your plans and keep her at arm\u2019s length.\u00a0 This approach seems like a no-brainer, since your wedding details stay on track.<\/p>\n<p>But what have you lost? A pivotal bond with the woman who raised your beloved. Think about years from now, when you\u2019re sitting by the fire at the family chateau, reminiscing how, together, you pulled of the wedding of the century. She hugs you with genuine love for her favorite daughter in law. You\u2019ve been calling her Mom since the wedding, by choice. You can text her at the last minute to scoop up her grandchildren for afternoon spa treatments with friends. When she has a problem, she emails you first for advice. She regularly introduces you as the daughter she never had. It just couldn\u2019t get any better between in laws, now could it?<\/p>\n<p>How do you get this picture-perfect future?<\/p>\n<p>1.\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Call MIL2B and invite her to lunch. Just the two of you. Take her to a place you want her to associate with fondness when she thinks of you. No schmoozing. This is not a butt-kiss session; this is the real deal.<\/p>\n<p>2.\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Ask her about herself. Keep yourself and wedding details out of the limelight. Focus on her. Find out what she did at your age, what she loves to do for a hobby, what makes her passionate about her work. If she\u2019s in a relationship, learn about how she and her honey met. Ask about their first date, and what made her fall in love.<\/p>\n<p>3.\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 The key here, above all else, is to L.I.S.T.E.N! We all have two ears and one mouth for a reason.\u00a0 Listen twice as much as you talk and suddenly you are the finest conversationalist on the planet! Listen with purpose: find out what makes her shine. Obviously she\u2019s got something amazing going on to have raised such an incredible person.\u00a0 Discover her treasures.<\/p>\n<p>4.\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Part company, and take time to consider her remarkable qualities. Share them with your fianc\u00e9 that evening. Again, listen with the same intent. Really focus on what your companion is saying, watching body language and soaking up that dizzying goodness.<\/p>\n<p>5.\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Fall asleep thinking about what the day said about your MIL2B. Next morning, you\u2019ll find the perfect wedding project that will let her shine. If she\u2019s a great organizer, invitations, RSVPs and seating charts are the ticket. Problem solver? Excellent! Share your menu conflicts, and let her work with the caterer. Invite her to audition bands\/DJs. If her best quality is a great personality, ask if she\u2019ll make follow up calls and confirm orders.<\/p>\n<p>When it comes to walking down a red-carpeted aisle or a muddy trail, I don\u2019t know a bride on the planet who would sully her gorgeous gown. Give that new VIP in your life a chance to shine. I am certain that the red carpet route will lead to glorious memories today and tomorrow, giving you a chance to experience a whole new level of the charmed life.<\/p>\n<p>What do you think?<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Your wedding: one of the biggest moments of your life. \u00a0From the finest cuisine to imported flowers, and of course that jaw-dropping gown, you\u2019ve dreamed of every detail culminating in one picture-perfect event. The day you marry is one you\u2019ve been waiting for with sleepless anticipation. But wait! You didn\u2019t count on one thing: the human factor. Suppose you\u2019re used to things going your way. You know what I mean\u2026all your life things have run smoothly, as long as people [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[488,19],"tags":[417,418,396],"class_list":["post-1275","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-no-drama-wedding-wedding-planning","category-wedding-planning","tag-getting-along-with-future-mother-in-law","tag-getting-along-with-mil2b","tag-no-drama-wedding"],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v26.9 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/product\/yoast-seo-wordpress\/ -->\n<title>The No Drama Wedding: Help for the Bride who \u201chas it all\u201d! | | TopWeddingSites.com<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"How to plan the no drama wedding - getting along with the future mother-in-law.\" \/>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.topweddingsites.com\/wedding-blog\/wedding-planning\/the-no-drama-wedding-help-for-the-bride-who-\u201chas-it-all\u201d\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"The No Drama Wedding: Help for the Bride who \u201chas it all\u201d! 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