{"id":2501,"date":"2011-05-18T13:15:10","date_gmt":"2011-05-18T18:15:10","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.topweddingsites.com\/wedding-blog\/?p=2501"},"modified":"2011-05-18T13:15:10","modified_gmt":"2011-05-18T18:15:10","slug":"remarriage-is-different-than-a-first-marriage","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.topweddingsites.com\/wedding-blog\/wedding-planning\/remarriage-is-different-than-a-first-marriage","title":{"rendered":"Remarriage is Different Than a First Marriage"},"content":{"rendered":"<h1><span style=\"font-weight: normal; font-size: 13px;\">Did you know that 40% believe marriage is obsolete, according to Time Magazine?\u00a0 However, they don\u2019t always believe it is obsolete for them.\u00a0 Remarriage is very common.\u00a0 Yet, when couples get premarital counseling it is still geared to first marriage issues despite very different issues of second marriages. \u00a0<strong>If the second marriage is going to be successful it needs to be recognized as being a completely different animal.<\/strong><\/span><\/h1>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p><strong>It Is Not Just About The Couple<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>Couples who are doing great need to also consider that, in a remarriage situation, there are more people who are going to be impacted by their relationship than in a first marriage.\u00a0 There may be kids involved and there is always a former spouse. \u00a0There are also extended family members from the previous marriage that have a relationship with the children. After they are married, these people are going to impact their relationship in ways they may not expect.\u00a0 The dynamic that is added to the relationship is one that isn\u2019t included in a first marriage.\u00a0 These added dynamics put additional stress on the marriage.<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>Creating a stepfamily brings a whole new set of issues.\u00a0 Some of these issues include what the attitude of the stepparent is about their parental role with their stepchildren.\u00a0 Another is how the children will address their stepparent.\u00a0 Also, how will that impact their biological parent?\u00a0 What kind of authority does the stepparent have?\u00a0 There is a whole new issue of building trust, where trust is a given by default to a biological parent.\u00a0 How is the stepparent going to handle co-parenting with the former spouse?<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p><strong>Ghosts Of Marriage Past<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>There are also ghosts that may appear from the past marriage.\u00a0 These appear as emotional scars that weren\u2019t seen before.\u00a0 We are complex emotionally.\u00a0 In a relationship as intimate as marriage, there are emotional parts of us that are deeply affected.\u00a0 When we get into a new marriage, someone touches those areas of our lives again.\u00a0 That may bring up unexpected emotional reactions that need to be recognized.\u00a0 There may be old pain that comes alive again.\u00a0 How is the couple going to deal with those when they appear?<\/p>\n<p><a href=\"http:\/\/www.topweddingsites.com\/wedding-blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2011\/05\/May-16-photo.jpg\"><img decoding=\"async\" loading=\"lazy\" class=\"alignright size-medium wp-image-2502\" src=\"http:\/\/www.topweddingsites.com\/wedding-blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2011\/05\/May-16-photo-300x199.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"300\" height=\"199\" \/><noscript><img decoding=\"async\" class=\"alignright size-medium wp-image-2502\" src=\"http:\/\/www.topweddingsites.com\/wedding-blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2011\/05\/May-16-photo-300x199.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"300\" height=\"199\" \/><\/noscript><\/a><\/p>\n<p>The most common ghost is the one of fear.\u00a0 In marriages that fail there has inevitably been a breach of trust of some kind.\u00a0 When someone has been hurt due to a breech of trust, it makes it harder to trust again.\u00a0 What is surprising about this, however, is that this is not just a problem with people who have been married previously.\u00a0 This is also a problem in first marriages.\u00a0 However, in remarriages this is a very common issue.\u00a0 Old scars cause people to be afraid to take risks in new relationships.\u00a0 The more attachment injuries a person has, the more this may be a problem.\u00a0 This can manifest itself in the form of jealousy.\u00a0\u00a0 This factor can predict with 93% accuracy whether or not the marriage will succeed.\u00a0 The jealousy can be with the children or with other areas of the couple\u2019s relationship.\u00a0 What happens when the stepparent gets marginalized, then they begin to wonder if their spouse loves them less than the children.\u00a0 This needs to be anticipated and a plan made to handle it before it happens.<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>Second and third marriages require special attention.\u00a0 There are more complex issues that could put stress on the marriage.\u00a0 Make sure you do the necessary premarital work to strengthen your unity as a couple and as parents. \u00a0Be able to tolerate extended family being unhappy.\u00a0 Also, be willing to take the necessary risks for love.<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>If you&#8217;re <a href=\"http:\/\/www.idotaketwo.com\/second_marriage_ceremony.html\" target=\"_blank\">planing a second wedding<\/a>, visit <a href=\"http:\/\/idotaketwo.com\" target=\"_blank\">IDoTakeTwo.com<\/a> for more information on second marriages or <a href=\"http:\/\/www.idotaketwo.com\/renewing_wedding_vows.html\" target=\"_blank\">wedding vow renewal services<\/a>.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Did you know that 40% believe marriage is obsolete, according to Time Magazine?\u00a0 However, they don\u2019t always believe it is obsolete for them.\u00a0 Remarriage is very common.\u00a0 Yet, when couples get premarital counseling it is still geared to first marriage issues despite very different issues of second marriages. \u00a0If the second marriage is going to be successful it needs to be recognized as being a completely different animal. &nbsp; It Is Not Just About The Couple Couples who are doing [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[19],"tags":[786,785,787,94],"class_list":["post-2501","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-wedding-planning","tag-getting-remarried","tag-remarriage","tag-second-marriage","tag-second-wedding"],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v26.9 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/product\/yoast-seo-wordpress\/ -->\n<title>Remarriage is Different Than a First Marriage | | TopWeddingSites.com<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"Information for couples getting remarried.\" \/>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.topweddingsites.com\/wedding-blog\/wedding-planning\/remarriage-is-different-than-a-first-marriage\" 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