{"id":50988,"date":"2014-08-27T00:08:39","date_gmt":"2014-08-27T00:08:39","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.topweddingquestions.com\/blog\/?p=6619"},"modified":"2014-08-27T00:08:39","modified_gmt":"2014-08-27T00:08:39","slug":"how-to-word-invitations-for-a-surprise-wedding","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.topweddingsites.com\/wedding-blog\/wedding-invitations\/how-to-word-invitations-for-a-surprise-wedding","title":{"rendered":"How To Word Invitations For A Surprise Wedding"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"How

Reader\u2019s Ask: Everyone Thinks We Are Getting Married Overseas, How Do We Word Our Invites So Everyone Is Surprised?<\/h2>\n

I was planning to word the reception invitation saying something like \u201cso and so are thrilled to announce their upcoming wedding, please join us for a pre-wedding celebration at venue\u2026\u201d and then after the cocktail hour we will make a thank you toast to all the guests and then surprise them with the actual wedding ceremony.<\/p>\n

I have found advice on eloping and reception wording but nothing quite fits this scenario. Any advice is welcome, thank you!<\/p>\n

Our Advice<\/h2>\n

Honestly, this is a great route to take within your specific scenario and there\u2019s no reason to change the wording at all! This is exactly the kind of \u201cbait and switch\u201d that you want to create for your family and friends when arousing this kind of surprise and excitement.<\/p>\n

When it comes to surprise weddings though, in general, here are some of our helpful tips:<\/p>\n

Create a \u2018Cover\u2019<\/h3>\n

Having your guests think they\u2019re coming to an engagement party and surprise them last minute with the wedding is one of the best routes to take. Make sure they know how much you\u2019d like their presence at this particular event – displayed in your invitation.\u00a0<\/b><\/p>\n

Nix the email invites for this. <\/b>The more serious you make the engagement event look, the apter you\u2019ll have all your guests arrive to celebrate – and surprise! Go with handwritten or printed selections instead.<\/p>\n

You could also have your guests believe they\u2019re coming to a send-off elopement party.<\/b> Kind of the celebration before you and your beau-to-be jet off to your faraway adventures. This one is really tricky but just as fun to plan and surprise your loved ones with. Do the same here for your invitations as we expressed for the engagement party option.<\/p>\n

Pick a Date & Location You Love<\/h3>\n

Just like if you were planning a real wedding, make sure you\u2019re in love with you date and in love with the venue you\u2019ve chosen.<\/p>\n

But, remember, this is a surprise so <\/b>don\u2019t go overboard<\/i><\/b>.<\/b> Don\u2019t rent out an actual wedding venue for your engagement party – think more uniquely such as local cafes, bookstores, or gazebo areas in a nearby botanical garden.<\/p>\n

Don\u2019t Go Overboard with Decor<\/h3>\n

Part of the surprise of a wedding is that it wasn\u2019t expected – and it didn\u2019t break the bank. Don\u2019t go overboard with the decor. This kind of event is all about the memories made by the feelings and spontaneity of it all.<\/p>\n

Spilling the Secret is a No-No<\/h3>\n

If you start telling too many people, the surprise will most certainly be ruined. Only tell the musts <\/b>such as the vendors and the officiant!<\/p>\n

Expert Advice from Darlene<\/h2>\n

Darlene Taylor, PBC, TaylorMade Weddings<\/b><\/p>\n

My first thought right out of the box is: Why change the wording at all? What were you doing before your plans changed?\u00a0<\/i><\/p>\n

If everyone thinks you\u2019re getting married overseas and then attending a reception in your honor, why not leave it that way?<\/b> I mean \u2013 unless your \u201celopement\u201d was to be WAY before the reception date.<\/p>\n

It will make everything more of a surprise for your guests when you actually break out with the wedding ceremony!<\/b> I\u2019m sure the etiquette experts may get me for this, but in order to pull off a surprise, you gotta fib a little\u2026.<\/p>\n

Here\u2019s an example invitation wording I like (and adapted for you) that you could use that won\u2019t really<\/i> be lying but would still follow your original \u201cplan.\u201d I love surprises!!<\/i><\/p>\n

Poem Invitation Example<\/h3>\n

We\u2019ve been keeping it quiet<\/i><\/p>\n

like little mice \u2014<\/i><\/p>\n

a private wedding<\/i><\/p>\n

we thought would be nice.<\/i><\/p>\n

We\u2019re excited about marriage \u2014<\/i><\/p>\n

as happy as can be!<\/i><\/p>\n

Please celebrate with us<\/i><\/p>\n

at our big party!<\/i><\/p>\n

[Date]<\/p>\n

[Time]<\/p>\n

[Location]<\/p>\n

[Bride\u2019s Name]<\/p>\n

and<\/p>\n

[Groom\u2019s Name]<\/p>\n

Expert Advice from Donna, Wedding Queen<\/h2>\n

President of Top Wedding Sites, Inc\u00ae, A Wedding Planning Guide, And Recent Mother Of The Groom<\/b><\/p>\n

I\u2019m not sure there is really any etiquette for how to word invitations to this event since it\u2019s so nontraditional.<\/p>\n

I\u2019d send a wedding reception invitation, worded the typical way such as:<\/p>\n

Simple Invitation Example<\/h3>\n

The pleasure of your company<\/p>\n

is requested at the<\/p>\n

wedding reception for<\/p>\n

[Bride\u2019s Name]<\/i><\/p>\n

and<\/p>\n

[Groom\u2019s Name]<\/i><\/p>\n

[Date]<\/i><\/p>\n

[Time]<\/i><\/p>\n

[Place]<\/i><\/p>\n

RSVP<\/p>\n

The guests will think you\u2019re getting married sometime before the reception though since the reception is what is planned after a wedding.<\/b> I\u2019m not sure what to call a celebration of a wedding that hasn\u2019t taken place yet, other than a bridal shower or engagement party.<\/p>\n

Would you be okay with allowing guests to think you will already be married when they arrive at the reception? <\/i>That would mean that they\u2019ll know (or think they know) they haven\u2019t been invited to the wedding. Then, of course, you\u2019d surprise them when they arrived.<\/p>\n

Expert Advice from Odi<\/h2>\n

Odi R R Smith, The Mannersmith Etiquette Consulting, Author: The Etiquette Book, A Complete Guide To Modern Manners<\/b><\/p>\n

I like both of these suggestions. Another concept to consider is to just invite your guest to a regular cocktail party and then surprise them with the wedding.<\/p>\n

\u201cPlease join us for cocktails and conversation (or cocktails and dancing) on Saturday, June 16th, 7:00 in the evening, 22 Broadway Lane\u2026\u201d<\/i><\/p>\n

More Invitation Info & Guides<\/h2>\n