{"id":51511,"date":"2014-06-11T13:40:59","date_gmt":"2014-06-11T13:40:59","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.topweddingquestions.com\/blog\/?p=6533"},"modified":"2014-06-11T13:40:59","modified_gmt":"2014-06-11T13:40:59","slug":"asking-bachelorette-party-guests-to-pay-2","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.topweddingsites.com\/wedding-blog\/bachelorette-party-questions\/asking-bachelorette-party-guests-to-pay-2","title":{"rendered":"Asking Bachelorette Party Guests To Pay"},"content":{"rendered":"
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Bachelorette Parties: Who Pays for Bachelorette Party?<\/h2>\n

For a bachelorette party (unlike a bridal shower) it is ok to ask all attendants to contribute. It is important to make it crystal clear ahead of time that people are expected to pay. The closer to a budget or range you can have in mind the better to let people plan.\u00a0Make it clear before the fun begin.\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n

Question: Who pays for the bride’s bachelorette party? <\/strong>We are having dinner and drinks at my apartment (my treat). Right after dinner, I\u2019m having a lady from Brown Bag Party coming over. After she leaves we are heading out to a drag show. I know that asking for guest to pay is rude but how do I ask them to pay for what their own way and ect.? How do I politely put on the invitation that we are having a \u201cselling party\u201d? How can I mention that they are to buy their own way into the club and their own drinks? And is there a way to word it where it can say that if they want, they can contribute to the \u201cFun Card\u201d? The fun card is a card like you would buy for a birthday but it\u2019s for the bachelorette party and they can put money in it so the bride doesn\u2019t have to spend money at the club.<\/p>\n

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Donna, Wedding Queen, President:<\/strong> It is very generous of you to host a dinner for the bride. Usually when we host a bachelorette party like this, the guests understand that they pay their own way and they chip in to pay the bride\u2019s way too. There isn\u2019t usually any gifts involved. The fun card is something I have never heard of, however, since all of the guests should be footing the bill for the bride anyway, this shouldn\u2019t be an issue. All of these activities should be known to all of the women beforehand and the costs laid out so that anyone who cannot afford to go, or those who may not care for the type of entertainment planned, can opt out.<\/p>\n

Rebecca Black, Etiquette By Rebecca:<\/strong> I agree. Guests usually realize that they will be paying their own way for this type of party. But, costs should be spelled out.<\/p>\n

Reader Response:<\/strong> Thank you for answering, I do appreciate it. But you didn\u2019t answer my questions. How do I politely put on the invitation that we are having a \u201cselling party\u201d? How can I mention that they are to buy their own way into the club and their own drinks? Is there a way to word it where it can say that if they want, they can contribute to the \u201cFun Card\u201d?<\/p>\n

Donna, Wedding Queen:<\/strong> This is a really informal event and really doesn\u2019t require invitations. Most people know how the bachelorette party works, but by sending \u201cinvitations\u201d you may confuse people into thinking you\u2019re inviting them (inviting = paying). I\u2019d recommend not sending invitations. Either make phone calls or send emails letting the women the bride wants to attend (only those invited to the wedding, only those close to the bride and, please, not the moms!)know what sort of bachelorette party you\u2019re planning and what the details of the night will be. Mention costs for every activity so the attendees can decide if they can, or want to, go. This is one party where guests pay their own way.<\/p>\n

Regarding that \u201cfun card\u201d, have you considered what you\u2019ll do if there isn\u2019t enough money in that card or if there is too much money? Again, I haven;t heard of this card concept but, to me, it seems more complicated than it needs to be. usually the group goes out and the ladies all split the bill at the end of the night (sans the bride, of course).<\/p>\n

Brandi Hamerstone, Owner\/Senior Wedding Planner All Events Planned:<\/strong> I will agree with the other post. The question is slightly confusing because there really is no way to answer, without stating the very obvious. If you are inviting guests to an event and sending out an invite, then you are \u201chosting\u201d the guests to whatever you invite them to. Meaning, you are paying. If you want to do this on your own (outside of an etiquette friendly concept) then just invite them and tell them they are paying AND you are also hoping they will be buying things from you that evening. It seems a bit odd to throw all of this together, but if it is the style\/type of event you are used to having, then go for it and enjoy! However, it seems like you have putting together quite a few, totally different style events and calling it a night out, which doesn\u2019t make any sense (to me). Again, if this is something that your group of friends and associates does, then you should just move ahead with your ideas and ignore etiquette altogether.<\/p>\n

Rebecca Black, Etiquette By Rebecca:<\/strong> Sending an invitation is all right. Just give guests a phone number and\/or email address if they have questions. When we \u201cinvite\u201d, we pay. That is the number one rule of entertaining and being a good host. The one (only one) exception is the bachelorette party (bachelor as well). The fun card is not a good idea and is actually rude\u2013an absolute no-no. This is not a gift giving event and the bride shouldn\u2019t be receiving money from the guests. Guests take turns or chip in for the bride when the check comes around.<\/p>\n

The \u201cselling party\u201d can be viewed very negatively, as guests shouldn\u2019t have to open their wallets just to attend a party in someone\u2019s home. So, you could mention in the invitation that this is included in the night\u2019s activities: a XXX representative, and include that no one is obligated to purchase anything that this is all in fun. List all the activities on the invitation. Guests know that they are responsible for their costs with this type of party. If you feel that they are not very savvy, then you could state that this activity (bar hopping) is not \u201chosted\u201d or that they will be covering their own tabs.<\/p>\n

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