{"id":6372,"date":"2014-11-06T18:16:17","date_gmt":"2014-11-06T18:16:17","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.topweddingquestions.com\/blog\/?p=6372"},"modified":"2014-11-06T18:16:17","modified_gmt":"2014-11-06T18:16:17","slug":"wedding-program-how-to-refer-to-deceased-parent-step-parents","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.topweddingsites.com\/wedding-blog\/wedding-ceremonies\/wedding-programs\/wedding-program-how-to-refer-to-deceased-parent-step-parents","title":{"rendered":"How to Refer to Deceased Parents &#038; Step Parents in Wedding Programs"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>When a parent has passed, what\u2019s the appropriate way to recognize them throughout the wedding invitations, programs, etc? And what happens if the surviving parents remarry? In this article we break down:<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li>Wedding program wording etiquette<\/li>\n<li>How to honor deceased parents throughout the written wedding materials<\/li>\n<li>Any exceptions to the rules<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<h2>The Question: How do I refer to deceased parents\/step parents in my wedding program?<\/h2>\n<blockquote><p><b>\u201cOn my wedding program I am listing, under the heading of parents, \u201cParents of the Groom\u201d The Late CE and Mr. and Mrs. WE\u201d and \u201cParents of the Bride, \u201cMrs. GQ and Mr. and Mrs. AQ.\u201d <\/b><b><br \/>\n<\/b><b><br \/>\n<\/b><b>My aim is to make the names of both sets of our biological parents stand out. We are also honoring his mother at our ceremony, along with all of our deceased grandparents. Is the way I listed the parents appropriate? Does one have to name the step parents??<\/b><\/p><\/blockquote>\n<h3>Our Answer<\/h3>\n<p>It isn\u2019t appropriate to write a deceased person\u2019s name under the heading of \u201cParents\u201d because he\/she wouldn\u2019t be attending. The program informs the guests of the principals\u2019 (those who are there) names and the order of events. This may confuse other guests that don\u2019t understand the situation.<\/p>\n<p>If you wish to include the name of a parent who has passed, you could list it at the bottom as \u2018in memoriam\u2019. The grandparents could be listed here as well. You could include a candle lighting for those who have passed and this could be listed on the program also. If so, you wouldn\u2019t need the \u2018in memoriam,\u2019 in addition to the candle lighting.<\/p>\n<p>It isn\u2019t mandatory to list step-parents\u2019 names. But, it is polite.<\/p>\n<h2><b>Another Perspective<\/b><\/h2>\n<p>A small mention in your program is respectful and can mean a lot to both families.<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li>Decide where in the program you want to mention it. Placement is recommended at the end of the program, potentially on its own page. It sets it apart from the happy tone of the rest of the program.<\/li>\n<li>Decide on a heading or introduction, something like \u201cWe Remember\u201d and \u201cIn Memory Of.\u201d Instead of a header, you can also write a sentence or two, such as \u201cWe remember those who are no longer with us.\u201d<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p>Here is a sample found at <a href=\"http:\/\/www.invitinginvites.com\/article_12\/How-to-Recognize-Deceased-Relatives-in-a-Wedding-Program.htm\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">Inviting Invites<\/a>.<\/p>\n<p>In this example, the Father of the Bride is deceased and the Mother of the Bride is remarried. If the mother was deceased instead, you would list her first, above the living father (and step-mother if he was remarried). You can list them under the wedding party section in the following way:<\/p>\n<p>Parents of the Bride<\/p>\n<p>Mr. and Mrs. John William Doe<\/p>\n<p>The Late Mr. Roger Smith<\/p>\n<p>OR<\/p>\n<p>You can just list the living parent in the wedding party and put something under the dedication like this:<\/p>\n<p>Dedication<\/p>\n<p>On this special day in our lives, we lovingly remember Mr. Roger Smith, Father of the Bride.<\/p>\n<p>\u2026or something like this..<\/p>\n<p>The flowers on the altar are placed to the glory of God and in loving memory of Mr. Roger Smith, Father of the Bride.<\/p>\n<p>\u2026or this\u2026<\/p>\n<p>The candle in the narthex burns brightly in loving memory of Mr. Roger Smith, Father of the Bride.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cIts important that the parents of the bride and groom, whether living or not, be remembered on your big day. To do so, where you mention parents of the bride and groom on the program, you will say, &#8220;Parents of the groom&#8230;the late Robert &amp; Sarah Brown.&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>If the groom&#8217;s parents are recently deceased, you might choose to honor them during the ceremony by having a memorial candle placed near the front of the ceremony area. Other couples choose to place a long stemmed white rose on the empty pew or chair where they would have been seated. The groom can walk in carrying the roses, then step over and place them on the pew or chairs. If you do either of these things, be sure to mention the significance in your program.\u201d &#8211; <a href=\"http:\/\/www.foreverwed.com\/articles\/programs\/568472c.html\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\"><i>Forever Wed<\/i><\/a><\/p>\n<h2><b>Other Helpful Resources<\/b><\/h2>\n<ul>\n<li><a href=\"https:\/\/www.topweddingsites.com\/wedding-blog\/what-to-do-about-mothergroom-dance-when-brides-father-deceased-wedding-dance-etiquette-for-absent-parents\/\">Wedding Dance Etiquette For Absent Parents<\/a><\/li>\n<li><a href=\"https:\/\/www.topweddingsites.com\/wedding-blog\/honoring-those-no-longer-with-us-during-wedding-ceremony\/\">Honoring Deceased Relatives During the Wedding Ceremony<\/a><\/li>\n<li><a href=\"https:\/\/www.topweddingsites.com\/wedding-blog\/step-parents-role-in-the-wedding-party\/\">Step-Parents\u2019 Role in the Wedding Party?<\/a><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>When a parent has passed, what\u2019s the appropriate way to recognize them throughout the wedding invitations, programs, etc? And what happens if the surviving parents remarry? In this article we break down: Wedding program wording etiquette How to honor deceased parents throughout the written wedding materials Any exceptions to the rules The Question: How do I refer to deceased parents\/step parents in my wedding program? \u201cOn my wedding program I am listing, under the heading of parents, \u201cParents of the [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":107,"featured_media":7264,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[6174,181],"tags":[5862,6509,6776,6782],"class_list":["post-6372","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-wedding-ceremony","category-wedding-programs","tag-deceased-parent","tag-family-parenting","tag-program","tag-wedding-program"],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v26.9 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/product\/yoast-seo-wordpress\/ -->\n<title>How to Refer to Deceased Parents &amp; Step Parents in Wedding Programs<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"Honoring your deceased parents\/step parents can be confusing. 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