Reader Question: My questions are regarding my recent wedding (10 days ago) which was an incredible learning experience. We had a destination wedding in Vegas and were shocked when 7 groups out of 17 attending did not give a card \u2013 never mind a gift. To date, we have received 2 gifts from the 15 or so who declined attendance.<\/strong><\/p>\n We did not register anywhere because we didn\u2019t really need anything and figured people would either give cash or send something to our home.<\/p>\n My questions are as follows:<\/p>\n 1. I thought it was proper to give a gift even if you didn\u2019t attend \u2013 but most certainly if you attend the wedding \u2013 is this accurate? I know I have been to many weddings and wouldn\u2019t think of ever coming empty handed! Even when not attending \u2013 I make sure to send a gift. Am I right?<\/p>\n 2. Is there a different set of rules for destination weddings?<\/p>\n 3. Should we send thank you cards to all who attended \u2013 even if they couldn\u2019t but a $3 card?? My initial thought was yes, but the more I think about it \u2013 they couldn\u2019t even buy a card???<\/p>\n 4. One person said that they had a full year to buy a gift. I thought that this rule applied to people who could not afford a gift at the time of the wedding (which is certainly not the case here!). This sounds very dumb to me \u2013 a full year?<\/p>\n Gifts should never be expected especially when it comes to a destination wedding or for the encore wedding. After all, you asked people to spend money to watch you get married. This is your day, not theirs. So, it is not viewed as \u2018special\u2019 to others as it does to you.<\/p>\n 1. Some etiquette experts still believe that an invitation to a wedding is an obligation to give a gift. This is not something I and many like me believe. A gift should be from the heart. However, I believe that if someone attends a wedding, he should send a gift. We shouldn\u2019t expect it though.<\/p>\n 2. An invitation to a destination wedding should never obligate someone to give a gift. This is an expense for the guests. We should be sensitive to this fact.<\/p>\n 3. No. You would only send thank you cards to those who gave you a gift.<\/p>\n Hopefully you did something special for those who did attend though. It is generous of them to travel to spend this time with you.<\/p>\n 4. There is no such thing as a time limit on sending a gift. I don\u2019t know where these silly rules come from, but it is not true. It is also incorrect for some to think that they have a year to send thank you notes. These should be written and mailed as soon as the gifts arrive.<\/p>\n Please focus on what is important. You married the person with whom you want to spend your days. This is the most important element.<\/p>\n Reader Question: If I’m flying to a destination wedding in Mexico, is it okay to spend less on the gift than I normally would due to my travel expenses?<\/strong><\/p>\n As a guest at a destination wedding, it is\u00a0definitely acceptable\u00a0to spend less than you normally would for a wedding gift if you are spending money\u00a0to travel to the wedding itself. Technically a gift is never required but it is good etiquette to give a gift, even if it is small. Importantly, for\u00a0a destination wedding the expectations are definitely lower. The couple does not expect a big gift when you travel a long way to the wedding, but even a nice card and note will go a long way.<\/p>\n Consider giving lower-cost, really personal gift. You can buy something locally made from the destination or even make something, which can be the most meaningful gift of all. You do need to give a formal wedding gift. Also, because you’re traveling you should probably not take the gift to the destination if you a can avoid it. Wedding gifts should be\u00a0sent to the bride, groom or the address on the registry.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Reader Question: I’m attending\u00a0a destination wedding and want to give a gift. What’s acceptable? How much should I spend?<\/strong><\/p>\n The best thing a couple throwing a destination wedding can do is let guests know that ‘their presence is their present.’ After the plane tickets and hotel most guests would have spent a pretty penny to get to the event itself. It is nice that you want to give a gift, but don’t stress about it too much.<\/p>\n How much you spend is always based on your relationship to the couple, your budget, and what you think they\u2019d like. There\u2019s no price range as everyone\u2019s situations will be different. If you\u2019re invited to a destination wedding, chances are you know the couple fairly well. But with all those travel costs, it\u2019s likely that your gift budget is going to be smaller — and that\u2019s okay. Send a gift, but don\u2019t worry if you aren\u2019t spending what you usually might. Personally, I think many people feel pressured to spend way more than they are comfortable with on wedding gifts in general. If it makes you cringe, it\u2019s too much!”<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" Destination Wedding Guests & Wedding\u00a0Gifts. What’s The Deal? Reader Question: My questions are regarding my recent wedding (10 days ago) which was an incredible learning experience. We had a destination wedding in Vegas and were shocked when 7 groups out of 17 attending did not give a card \u2013 never mind a gift. To date, we have received 2 gifts from the 15 or so who declined attendance. We did not register anywhere because we didn\u2019t really need anything and […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":107,"featured_media":6817,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[6466,19],"tags":[860,6796,1656,6647,2148,6511,849,870],"class_list":["post-6490","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-destination-wedding-2","category-wedding-planning","tag-destination-wedding","tag-destination-wedding-advice","tag-gifts","tag-gifts-for-wedding","tag-guests","tag-questions-answered","tag-wedding-gift","tag-wedding-gifts-2"],"yoast_head":"\nRebecca Black, Etiquette By Rebecca:<\/h4>\n
<\/h2>\n
How Much To Spend On A\u00a0Gift<\/span>\u00a0For A\u00a0Destination Wedding?<\/span><\/h2>\n
Guests Shouldn’t Worry Too Much\u00a0About Destination Wedding Gifts<\/h2>\n