My boyfriend’s sister is having a destination wedding. He and I have been dating for almost 3 years and we live together. Their mother started planning the trip, booked the condo we will be staying at and said she will pay for our part of the condo. But no one asked me if I could afford to go to this wedding, they all just assumed I was going because I’m his girlfriend. His mother then went and booked the flights for all four of us (me, my boyfriend, and his mother & father) and said that when we got our income tax returns we could pay her back for them. Well, quite frankly, I don’t think I should have to pay for the flight. I am his guest and nobody even asked me if I could afford to go, they all just assumed I was going. The flight costs a ton of money, nevermind the fact that we all also have to get passports to travel for an additional cost. I am willing to pay for my passport since they are valid for 10 years, but I don’t think I should be obligated to pay the flight. This is HIS sister’s wedding and I think he should have to pay for my flight. If it was my brother or sister that was getting married out of the country, I would pay for him to come with me, since he would be my guest. He came to a wedding with me when we first started dating and I paid for the bridal shower and wedding gifts with both our names on them. Am I wrong to think he should pay for my flight or am I right?

Donna, Wedding Queen, President; Top Wedding Sites, Inc

You should have been asked if you could afford to go, definitely. But, whether your boyfriend should pay for you is between the two of you and what sort of relationship you have. This should be discussed. If your boyfriend doesn’t want to pay for you, or can’t pay for you, then you’ll have to tell his mother you cannot afford to attend. Perhaps your boyfriend should explain the situation to his mother and keep you out of it.
However, if you’re living with this man I’ll assume you’re serious about the relationship and perhaps you’ll be married one day. These people will be your family then. All of this should be given careful consideration before you make your decision. Base your conclusion on what you want the outcome to be and make sure you and the boyfriend are on the same page. After all, if you are expecting to have a lasting relationship you’ll want to be sure you have the same values and can communicate well.

Rebecca Black, Etiquette By Rebecca

I agree. When a couple is living as a married couple, then it can be assumed that the couple would travel together, sharing the cost. It really is best to talk to your boyfriend about this.