One of your best friends just got engaged. You couldn’t be more excited for her! Now she wants to meet up with you for lunch at your favorite hang out… could it be that she is going to ask you to be a bridesmaid?? YES! Of course you say yes when she asks you – you wouldn’t dream of attending just as a guest because you need to be standing right beside her!
Anyone who has ever been a bridesmaid wants to be the best bridesmaid for her bride. Ideas start running through your mind of what you will do in preparation for the big day immediately after agreeing to the task. But, what does being the best bridesmaid truly entail? What did you just sign up for?!
If there is only one thing that you take away from this blog post, it is this:
Being a bridesmaid is not about you. It’s about making it easy and enjoyable for the bride!
Does this mean that you have to be the bride’s slave until the wedding day? Nope! But it does mean that this isn’t your time to shine – your role is to support the bride. Now, I don’t want you to think that being a bridesmaid isn’t fun at all because when I was a bridesmaid I had a blast – dress fittings, engagement parties, bridal showers, craft nights, hair and makeup trials, the list went on and on with fun girlie adventures. But I’ll just start with the basics.
- Support the bride! (Emotionally and physically) I put this one first because it is the most critical part of being a bridesmaid. There is a lot that goes into planning a wedding that can make the whole experience somewhat stressful and what every bride loves to know is that she can count on her bridesmaids to help her out along the way. She is going to need emotional support when she gets the jitters, and she will need some “girl power” for all those late nights sealing/stamping envelopes. She’s going to want your valued opinion on the color of the linens and when she asks everyone “which invitation do you like better?” She wants you on TEAM BRIDE because she loves you and trusts that you won’t let her walk down the aisle looking like a mess J So, be preemptive when it comes to the upcoming wedding tasks and ask her if there is anything you can do to help lighten the load.
- Go to as many wedding related appointments as possible. This includes the bridal shower, the engagement party, the dress fittings, the bachelorette party, etc. She’s already expecting you to be there because your one of her best friends so unless there’s an emergency, you’d better be there! There are always things you can help out with during these events too like making sure she has everything before she leaves or handing out pencils for the games. Chances are you might be asked to do something specific for these events as well, like “can you put together a playlist for background music at the engagement party?” To which you respond; “No big deal, sure thing I can!” Why? Because that’s what you’re there for, ladies.
- Don’t create drama. This is a big one. You know what’s stressful? Wedding planning. You know what makes it 233965384 times worse for everyone? Drama. Don’t do it. There are ways of making your opinion known without causing any undo drama between the rest of the wedding party or the family. One time as I was the Maid of Honor, a bridesmaid mistakenly sent me a text complaining about the rest of the bridesmaids and me. I’m not sure who it was meant for but I’m glad it didn’t get sent to the bride! There is no reason to complain. If you are uncomfortable with something or if someone is acting out of line, go to the Maid of Honor first and see if she can handle it. Her job is similar to yours and might be able to handle the situation without involving and stressing out the bride.
- Do everything on time. If the bride has given you a task or has let you know of any deadlines that there are, make sure that you meet the deadlines. You certainly don’t want to be that one bridesmaid who two weeks before the big day announces that she hasn’t gotten her dress fitted or didn’t even start to look for the right shoes. EEK! Plan ahead because the earlier your “tasks” are finished the more you can help the bride out even more.
Those are just four of the most important bridesmaid responsibilities. Remember: your role is to support the bride, that’s the umbrella responsibility. If you do that successfully, everything else will fall into place. You are such good friends with the bride, you care for her, you want the best for her and naturally you want her big day (and all that leads up to it) to go as smooth as possible. So, four words: Be There For Her. Being engaged is an emotional rollercoaster. She will cry, laugh, and get frustrated all in one day so you have to be the voice of reason to remind her how exciting this time is. If you do that, and the things I mentioned above, then you will be an excellent bridesmaid.
And don’t forget to check out our “Bridesmaid Duties & Don’ts” for a simple way to know if you’re being the best bridesmaid you can be: http://www.theoverwhelmedbride.com/2/post/2014/03/bridesmaidduties-and-donts.html