Whether you are purposefully trying to keep your bridal party small or you just have too many wonderful people in your life, sometimes the task of doling out special roles to loved ones can be daunting for brides and grooms. But have no fear, there are ways around the anxiety and stress of making someone important feel less than throughout the planning of your big day.
How to Include Your Loved Ones Outside the Bridal Party
Here are some quick and easy ways to include those important people who aren’t given a bridesmaid or groomsmen role:
- Dub your event-loving, type-A friend or cousin as your right-hand planner. They don’t have to be a bridesmaid to help with the plans. Instead, appoint him/her as your organized helper.
- Appoint greeters. Extra friends or extended family you love but don’t see as often can be made into greeters for the event. They can welcome family to the ceremony, cocktail hour, or reception area.
- Get creative with them. Have a night where everyone helps to stuff the favors or address the envelopes. Involving them in an intricate part of the wedding shows trust and care.
- Ask your talented ones for help. Maybe you have a co-worker whom you love and she can sing too. Ask her for a song. Maybe your best friend is an amazing artist. Ask him to create a backdrop for the ceremony. If you have a friend with a special talent, utilize it and shine a light on his/her gift.
- Simple VIP seating works too. If you have special people in your life whom you want to feel special but they aren’t in the wedding party, create a VIP section at the ceremony to show that extra affection.
Other Expert Answers
Glamour
“I don’t know about you guys, but I hate that I couldn’t have a whole gaggle of bridesmaids. I really do. All of my friends (both men and women!) are so important to me that I want them all to have a special role in the Big Day, which is why I ended up doing this:
In part to help me and AP out, and in part to honor each one of our friends, we’ve delegated – and titled – very specific duties to certain people. For instance, I have one amazing friend who is a truly gifted editor. Seriously, the girl loves nothing more than finding typos. Therefore, we asked her to be our ‘Director of Words’. She’ll help me write my vows, and proofread everything and anything with words on it that go into the wedding – invitations, escort cards, etc.
Another friend oozes sex appeal like no one else I know. She’s my ‘Director of Lingerie‘. She’ll help plan the lingerie – shower part of the bachelorette party, help me figure out what to wear under my wedding dress, during my first night as a married woman and throughout my honeymoon. Oh, and she’ll also help me prepare for this (Dad, don’t look!).
And instead of the term “personal attendant,” which just doesn’t really feel like me, I’ve asked one of my best friends to be ‘The Regulator’. She’ll work with our day-of wedding coordinator to make sure everything runs smoothly.
Other titles include: ‘VP of Fun’ (she’ll get the party started), ‘Director of Champagne’ (hello, toasts!), ‘Art Director’ (in charge of everything paper and theme) and ‘Director of Desserts’ (someone needs to be the tiebreaker between AP and me!)” – Glamour
The Knot
“So, you’ve chosen your wedding party—and that’s about it. You might not realize it now, but there are tons of other duties and roles you might want to get people involved with—especially if the loved ones in your life want to help.
Not only will you get extra pairs of hands surrounding your ceremony and reception, but you’ll also get to incorporate the ones who might not have made the wedding party cut. (Just make sure to thank them in spades for all of their hard work.)
- Secretary Stuff
A plethora of paperwork surrounds your wedding day. Why not get a meticulous cousin or friend to help address the envelopes, organize the replies, sort through the place cards or compose a thank-you list? In return, offer to lick the envelopes yourself.
- Site Styling
If you’re doing the reception decorations yourself, you’ll probably need an able-bodied crew to help do everything from arranging the tables and chairs to setting down the place cards. To take the drudgery out of hanging up a zillion string lights, turn the setup into a festive pizza party.
- Program Distributing
Depending on the venue, you’ll probably want at least two people to hand out your programs. This easy duty puts some of your favorite people front and center—and lets them enjoy the rest of the day worry-free…” – The Knot
Southern Living
“If helping loved ones feel a part of the process by including too many people in wedding planning feels risky (you may be surprised about how strong family opinions can be!), consider incorporating meaningful family moments into your wedding ceremony instead. From family traditions to unique nods to the past, there are endless ways to include family in your wedding and shine a light on the love that made your Big Day possible. Here are a few of our favorites.
Make Your “Something Borrowed” Meaningful
Incorporate a piece of family jewelry into your wedding ensemble, like grandma’s wedding band or family brooch, for a subtle way to keep family close. Your family may even have a special piece that is passed down from generation to generation, and if not, your wedding may be the perfect time to start a new tradition.
Make a Family Recipe Part of the Menu
Who wouldn’t want grandma’s famous peach pie at the center of the dessert table?…” – Southern Living