Brides 1st marriage, grooms 2nd Etiquette for who pays for what

The bride & groom have been living together for 3 years & are planning their wedding this Spring. It is a 2nd marriage for the groom & a 1st for the bride. The couple are in their 40’s. The guests are 90% from the grooms side. Should the couple be paying for the wedding themselves or are the brides parents expected to pay for the wedding?


Donna, Wedding Queen, President; Top Wedding Sites, Inc

The bride’s parents are no longer expected to pay for a wedding, 1st, 2nd or otherwise, so it should be on the couple to host their wedding. If their parents offer to help out, then that is a generous gift.

Jay Remer, The Etiquette Guy, International Protocol and Corporate & Social Etiquette

I completely agree with Donna. During tight economic times, a little help from family is a wonderful bonus, but certainly not expected.

Amy Rubins, Fete Perfection, Professional Bridal Consultant certified by the Association of Bridal Consultants

Agree, parents are not expected nor obligated to pay for their daughter’s wedding. Most older couple’s have the financial well-being to fund their own wedding. Parent’s will sometimes offer a monetary gift, which the couple can use for the planning.

Jodi R R Smith, The Mannersmith Etiquette Consulting

We are all in agreement. Parents are no longer expected to pay for weddings, first or second. It is lovely when parents offer to do so and kind when they contribute. In this situation, with the bride and groom being in their 40s, they have been supporting themselves for long enough and should be able to cover the costs of their own wedding.