Invitation Wording With Step Mother

I want to know if I have to include my step mother on the wedding invitations. My parents divorced when I was 9 and my mother moved us kids to Australia. I have lived there ever since. My Dad remarried when i was 17 and I don’t really like my step mother. Do I need to include her on the wedding invitation? Mum is paying for the venue, and dad is paying for my dress.

Rebecca Black, Etiquette By Rebecca

Dear Wants to Exclude Step mom,

Sorry, but you will have to include her. It is not proper to exclude a known significant other of any of our guests. However, you may have both her and your father sit in the third row during the wedding. She does not have to be in the receiving line, or your father for that matter. You could sit your father and his wife at a special table away from you also.

Typically the steps should fade into the background. They are not usually in any pictures unless they are close to the couple.

Best wishes,


So if it is important to include her, how woud the wording on the invitation be? would it be something like this?

Ms My MUM and

Mr & Mrs My Dad & Stepmum

together with

Mr & Mrs Fiances parents

Not too sure – my fiance and i are paying for our wedding so no one is “hosting” the wedding, we want to respect our parents by adding them to the invitation.

Rebecca Black, Etiquette By Rebecca

I am sorry. I thought you meant that you didn’t want to include her name on the invitation you send to your father. Big difference.

You do not have to include your step-mother’s name on your wedding invitations. In fact, you don’t have to include your father’s, but you say you want to out of respect.

A good compromise would be:


daughter of Ms. Mom and Mr. Dad


Mr. Groom

son of Mr. and Mrs. Groom’s parents

request the honour of your presence


This would be great because it is respectful of all of the parents without implying that they are hosting.


That’s okay [:)]

I re read my question and i would of thought the same thing. Thank you so much for your help, weddings become a bit complicated when your family gets divided. [:)]

Thank you

Rebecca Black, Etiquette By Rebecca

You are very kind.

And, yes. It is quite complicated and stressful. Hopefully we can steer you clear of any future problems that may creep up.

Take care.


Hi, Sorry to bother you again about the wedding invitations.. however i am unsure if i am supposed to include my parents last name on the invite as the are divorced. My Fiance and i are hosting our own wedding so this is how i have the invite:


Daughter of

Ms Jo and Mr John



Son of

Mr & Mrs Jack and Mary

Request the pleasure of your company

at our wedding on:


Is this correct or should it include last names of both parents? Unsure about this, My mother and father have the same last name even though they have divorced and my father has remarried – so am unsure how to put this on the invite.

please help.

Regards Stody

Rebecca Black, Etiquette By Rebecca

Don’t worry about the questions. We are here for you.

You would either just use their first names if your wedding is informal, or use their first and last names if more formal. You just wouldn’t use their titles (Ms. and Mr.) if you aren’t using their last names. And, don’t worry about the fact that your parent’s last names are the same. You will be listing them separately as Ms. and Mr. So, your guests will know that they are no longer married. It’s so common these days.

No worries.