Private vow renewal ceremony?

My husband & I will be married 5 years in July. I really want to renew our wedding vows. We are planning a trip in April – just a get away for us without our kids. I was thinking of doing it then with just the two of us but then no one would be there to celebrate with us. Then I thought about having a vow renewal at the same church where we were married. Should it just be done with me my husband or can I have the church with our close family & friends? We have 4 children to include in the ceremony . I don’t want a second wedding – I want to reaffirm our vows to each other. Do we have a reception afterwards? What do most people do for a vow renewal? Please help! thanks

Rebecca Black, Etiquette By Rebecca

Dear Reaffirming,

This is a great idea and including your children is perfect. A reception/party following would be positive. Please read more about vow renewal etiquette.

Best wishes,


As in my posting above, my husband and I renewed our vows last week with only our minister there. We have 3 children and it was our 18th wedding anniversary, but we just wanted it to be ourselves, felt children too young to understand significance. At the end of the day we wanted to to it for each other and that was why it was just the two of us, we have since told lots of our friends and they think it is very romantic! We renewed our vows in the morning and then went away on a trip for the weekend to a luxury hotel and basically had a second honeymoon!!!!! It was lovely and very very special. Do whatever is right for both of you and have a lovely time!

Rebecca Black, Etiquette By Rebecca

Yours is perfect also, because the focus is still the same. Your focus is on the love and continued commitment to each other.

I agree, very romantic.