Selling Tickets for Jack & Jill Shower

My youngest daughter is getting married in Sept. For her sisters, both sets of parents and the wedding party chipped in together to have a nice Jack & Jill shower for the couple. My daughter’s future sister-in-law and MOH along with the best man want to sell tickets for a Jack & Jill shower. Whatever money isn’t used for the shower is given to the couple. My family and I think this is extremely tacky. We believe that the bridal couple should be the ones who benefit from ALL the gifts and that a nice shower can be given without going broke. We have done this with two other older daughters. We have already paid for the bride’s gown and put a deposit on the DJ. Now our daughter doesn’t want to have a wedding reception or shower because the two families can’t agree on how the shower should be done.


Heartbroken Mom

Donna, Wedding Queen, President; Top Wedding Sites

Dear Mom,

This is one of the reasons family members should not host a bridal shower. Only family members who are a part of the bridal party should have anything to do with this planning.

However, selling tickets to a bridal shower is ridiculous. It’s like saying, hey, come to a shower for me, bring a gift and help pay for the event too. Imagine yourself receiving an invitation like this one. A good host never expects a guest to pay for anything, especially when the event is a gift giving event.

Parents should bow out now and allow the bridal party to host a shower if they choose to do so. Showers are optional events.

Rebecca Black, Etiquette By Rebecca

Well put. I agree completely. As hosts we never expect our guests to pay for the event and selling tickets is in extremely poor taste.

Perhaps the bride is right about the shower. Perhaps it shouldn’t be held unless a friend wishes to hold one that is proper–a small, intimate affair.


Family members are part of the wedding party. In fact the two older sisters both have their children in the wedding. The groom’s sister is the maid of honor and the best man is a friend of the groom. Neither the maid of honor nor the best man want to pay anymore out of pocket expenses beside what they are wearing.

The problem of tickets has never come up with our family because we have always thought it was tacky to ask people to pay for attend these kind of events. What has made this worse is the fact that the maid of honor and best man and the rest of the groom’s family which is also in the wedding want to sell tickets and the bride’s family doesn’t agree to this.

Now the reception has been canceled and my daughter is angry because our family won’t agree to selling or buying tickets to the event. She has said that if people don’t want to attend the shower, that we shouldn’t expect to attend the wedding either. This has hurt our family deeply.

Still hurting!


Rebecca Black, Etiquette By Rebecca

Perhaps you could ask them to read what is proper. This isn’t. What is proper is written in many books. So, this may be one way to relieve the pressure of people fighting about what they ‘think’ is right just because they have been doing it for so long.