Who to list as host on wedding invitations

Im trying to figure out the wording for my invitations. When they say “bride’s/groom’s/couple hosting or contributing the most,” does this mean hosting or contributing the most for the reception or the whole wedding in general? I’m paying for photo, video, cake, invitations, flowers, my dress/shoes/accessories, and other miscellaneous items for the ceremony. My fiance is paying for the donation to the church, musicians for the ceremony, honeymoon, and probably the alcohol at the reception. His mom will be hosting the rehearsal dinner and paying for my bouquet and corsages/boutonnieres. That leaves my parents paying for the food.

So, would this be considered as my parents hosting? They are spending probably the most. Thank you so much!

Rebecca Black, Etiquette By Rebecca

Dear Whose Hosting,

Typically, this means hosting (paying) for most of the wedding/reception costs. The rehearsal really isn’t counted. You can word this any way you wish, but you really should have your parents at the top because they are paying the most amount of money.

If you want to list your fiance’s mother because she is paying for flowers, this is fine also. She can also be listed as “son of mother’s name” below your fiance’s name.

Best wishes,


Thanks Rebecca! One more question. My parents name will be on the top, but I also want to include my fiance’s parents. His father is deceased and his mother is recently remarried. Is it okay to say “son of Mrs. _____ and the late _____?” I’ve read that you can include the deceased parent’s name on the invitations and I’ve also read that the name should not be included and the parent should be honored in another way. However, alot of that was in relation to the bride’s parents, especially if her family was hosting. I do know that my fiance wanted to include his dad’s name, so we will most likely do it this way, but I was just curious of your opinion. Thank you!

Rebecca Black, Etiquette By Rebecca

The example you gave is perfect.

The confusion with all of the different answers could be that some people really don’t know that there is a way to include a deceased person’s name appropriately. We don’t want the invitation to read as if a deceased person is inviting or to make the invitation ‘read’ as anything but happy. You won’t have this problem with that wording.

Best wishes,