Wording on invites for group gift

My nephew is getting married and the aunts are hosting a shower for his bride-to-be. The couple would like a set of pots and pans and they are of high quality and thus expensive. The cookware is through a distributor so guests are unable to purchase gift cards to use to purchase set.

I’m not sure how to word the invites suggesting contributing to this group gift. I’m stressing over this!

Your help, advice and guidance is greatly appreciated.



Rebecca Black, Etiquette By Rebecca

Dear Mckate,

Actually family doesn’t host the shower as it is view as self serving. Family will typically try to garner the most gifts possible. It is only human nature. But, it is too late for that.

It wouldn’t be polite to tell the guests that they can only choose one type of gift. But, you could ask them to call you to RSVP and you could verbally inform them of your idea for a group gift.

Now, the shower gift is supposed to be less expensive than the wedding gift as all of these guests will be giving two gifts. So, you would need a few people to make this work. Plus, there should be no more than 35 guests invited or this could appear as a gift grab.

Best wishes,