i hate my wedding dress
photo credit: derpunk via photopin cc

I hate my dress! I’m sorry to sound like a brat but I absolutely hate my dress. It came in a few days ago and I tried it on. I want to cry every time I think about it. I’m supposed to feel beautiful in my wedding dress but instead I feel like a short, fat troll. I’m not used to wearing fussy clothes and prefer things to be more streamlined—this has lace and sequins and a tacky ribbon around the waist.

I’m also very ticked that the shop measured me from bust to toe to make sure the dress would be the correct length but it’s too long and will have to be shortened, at a cost of around $100.

I’m thinking that I might be able to have the alterations person remove the icky, tacky ribbon—and when she has to hem the dress maybe I can have her remove the embroidery on the bottom and keep it plain—or even downsize the train so it feels manageable.

Do I try to make this dress work or do I look for something else? I don’t have the luxury of taking a day to go shopping and look around. Because it was custom ordered (as if they actually followed the instructions!) I can’t return the thing. I could take it to a consignment shop, however.

I found something simpler with a straighter skirt and a less fussy bodice but my fiance prefers the frou-frou dress. I want to please him, too! I originally chose this dress because it is a little different. It has plenty of contrast between the ivory gown and mocha embroidery—my fiance is colorblind and is not able to distinguish much color but he can appreciate the contrast in the gown.

My first wedding was a total joke and I didn’t have a real wedding dress or photos or flowers or anything. I did wear an off-the-rack street length Liz Claiborne dress, ivory silk with a boat neck and long sleeves. It was a gorgeous dress. Maybe it’s good karma that this time I have an ugly wedding dress but a good marriage…



Rebecca Black, Etiquette By Rebecca

Dear B,

That is a good way to look at it. But, choosing a different dress may be a good idea. If you aren’t comfortable, it will show. Ask if the detail can be removed without destroying the dress. Sometimes it will leave marks. If so, then it seems that you have no choice but to go shopping.

Best wishes,

Thank you, Rebecca. One of the details—the ribbon belt at the waist, can easily be removed without leaving any marks. The shawl is simply way too much for the ceremony but I might wear it during the reception. We shall see.

I also found several pairs of ivory shoes online and I’m sure at least one of the pairs will work with the dress. So I’m feeling a bit more optimistic.

Everything else regarding the wedding is really falling into place. My fiance is wonderful and I’m looking so forward to spending the rest of my life with him. I’m not all bent out of shape over my whole wedding being “perfect” because we’re trying to please ourselves, not impress anyone. But this is my only chance to really be a bride and I want to look like a bride.

I wish wedding gown advertisements were a wee bit more tasteful. The company from whom I am getting my gown seems to have a Barbie mentality: the more accessories that one can pile on, the better! The trouble is, the classiest and most elegant gowns that I have seen run into thousands of dollars and I can’t justify that.

thanks for the input.

Rebecca Black, Etiquette By Rebecca

I agree about not spending too much on the gown. I’m so glad you can make this work.