Few things can are more joyous than news of your son or daughter getting engaged. However, what often starts off as excitement enveloped by a warm and hazy buzz can very quickly spiral downwards into stress and a heightened state of panic. And here are the reasons why.
The average cost of a wedding in the UK is around £20,000. That figure becomes even more sobering during a downturn because it excludes the cost of an engagement ring or a honeymoon. While many couples do budget and are quick to let their families know of their preferences, others keep quiet, which can place huge stress on a parent.
Many mothers have witnessed the slow transformation where their perfectly normal and functional daughter has turned into “Bridezilla”: a monster full to the brim with constant unattainable demands, unreasonably high expectations, mood swings and sudden bouts of crying.
Many brides insist on themed or destination weddings, whether it’s overseas or on a grand setting. At times, such far flung destinations can be a problem for friends, guests and relatives, but the happy couple stand firm and cannot be persuaded from their decisions. This can be the source of many arguments and pleading from the daughter.
Increasingly more ceremonies are becoming secular so it’s more popular for them to be held in hotels or gazebos. This is particularly in fashion when the bride and groom are of differing faiths or backgrounds. When neither the bride nor groom practices a particular religion, the ceremony and reception can at times appear very informal and this may upset a parent who wishes for a more traditional or sacramental wedding.
For Mum to survive the wedding, the best thing to do is to acknowledge how difficult weddings can be and to accept that for the several months leading up to the wedding that the road won’t be without bumps.
It’s worth suggesting a wedding planner because they’ll know exactly how to navigate the problem areas, what to tackle first, and what to leave until the last minute. They simply will create a timeline for you and will act as your personal assistant for the few months running up to the wedding. She’ll also have access to the best bridal magazines and the kind of clothing catalogue that’ll leave you immersed in a pool of bliss.
It’s her wedding
Yes, it is your daughter’s wedding and not yours, so while you’ll naturally feel like marching in with your mother’s safety net, you have to resist from doing so. It’s her wedding. And this especially rings true for moments like choosing the wedding dress itself. Don’t interfere.
Finally, while you resist interfering, keep yourself busy by searching online for that perfect dress. At the moment there are some lovely mother of the bride dresses from Kaleidoscope, among others.