Idea For International Wedding Registry Dilemma

Hello. there are serveral posts on here from people with a similar dilemma that I too have – I live outside of my home country, will be getting married outside of my home country, but many of my guests will be coming to my wedding from my home country. In my case I am from the US but live and will be wed in Mexico.

Though there are several retailers that exist in both Mexico and the US (Sears for example), they don’t have english language websites for Mexico and often don’t accept non-Mexican credit cards. Apart, my US guests will not understand the webstite and might not feel entering their credit card numbers into it (it would be perfectly safe but I can understand the reluctance). Shipping stuff from the US is prohibitively expensive (adds as much as 50% to the price) and having it sent ot my parents house and then bringing it back to Mexico is also a big pain and expensive.

So, my idea is that for my US guests, I have them contribute to paying for my honeymoon expenses. I think this is called a honeymoon registry but I am not sure. In the end this is equivalent to them giving me money but in this case it will be to pay for stuff like flights and hotel rooms and stuff. Part of me feels like this is a good solution and part feels like it is super tacky. I am not sure. I don’t want to be greedy but wedding gifts exist to give you a stronger footing on your new life, so you already have stuff for your house etc, and I would prefer not to miss out because I have to ask for smaller/cheaper stuff to compensate my US guests for shipping costs. This way, they can offset my honeymoon expenses and the savings I have from that I can apply to microwaves and toasters and other typical wedding gift type stuff that I can buy here in Mexico.

So, what do you think of my idea? I am a guy and not so knowledgeable about this stuff, so please, no holds barred if this idea crosses the line on ettiquette, if I am being cheap, etc

Donna, Wedding Queen

You know, the jury is still out on the honeymooon registry and people have mixed feelings about how they receive it. Personally, I think it’s similar to any other registry (though you’re not registering for things, you’re basically registering for cash, so that’s where the yukky factor comes in). :wacko:

What I’d do is register at a Mexican registry for your Spanish speaking guests, a US registry for your American guests and (if you really must) sign up for your honeymoon registry. Then, if anyone asks, you can tell them where you’re registered and let them decide which sort of gift they want to buy.

Just don’t put registry information in or on a wedding invitation – that smacks of tack!

Plus , and this is very important, focus less on gifts, more on ceremony. Trust me, long after the honeymoon is over,and the gifts are used, packed away, etc, you’ll have your vows you exchanged that will last forever. Those vows and your commitment to one another is what makes the marriage. The rest is just stuff…

Hope this helps…

Brandi Hamerstone,
Owner/Senior Wedding Planner All Events Planned

I agree 100% with the previous answer. Do the separate registries for the separate countries and leave it up to your guests to decide what they feel comfortable buying/doing for your gift. If you want to add the vacation registry (again, I agree the jury is still out on whether this is terribly tacky or wonderfully convenient) add that as an option and then , if you are doing a wedding website, have the information listed there.
It is amazing how even registering for gifts can get complicated with weddings! Good luck and enjoy your wedding day, no matter what people get for you!

Donna, Wedding Queen

If making mention of a wedding gift registry on a personal wedding site, be sure not to mention it on the homepage, for the same reason you don’t want to mention it in the wedding invitation.

Mindy Gilbert, MCC , Vacation, Cruise & Honeymoon Specialist, My Vacation Lady

As a honeymoon specialist and the mother of a very recent bride, my views on the honeymoon registries might be a bit different than others based on my personal experiences with the registries.

I personally don’t feel that it is any different that registering for wedding gifts at Macy’s or Bed Bath and Beyond. For those guests who want to buy gifts, they will, in my opinion, at least buy you something that they feel you would like and appreciate. Many wedding guests are hesitant to give a monetary gift and according to the honeymoon registry that I include on my website, your guests will feel that they are purchasing an experience for you and your bride to enjoy. I will suggest that rather than asking for contributions to the honeymoon (which I do feel can look tacky) that you ask for experiences that you enjoy during your honeymoon. Whether or not you actually use the money to pay for the honeymoon package or the actual experience, is completely up to you. Some of the “gifts” that my clients have received from their honeymoon registries were
* romantic dinners
* bottles of champagne
* couples massages
* tours and excursions
* breakfast in bed
and so much more.

My clients and my daughter list the honeymoon registry on their wedding websites but the ones who received the most in gifts, also include the info along with the shower invitations. Whatever you decide, best of luck with your upcoming wedding!

Rebecca Black, Etiquette By Rebecca

Unfortunately, it is viewed as very impolite to expect or request cash for showers, which the honeymoon registry is–cash. Gifts for showers are supposed to be ones that are wrapped (tangible items). Additionally, since so many will have travel costs added to the regular costs of attending a wedding (articles on this topic are huge eye openers!) it might be more considerate to skip shower hosting requests and lessen the focus on gifts all together.

However, I do agree with the Wedding Queen and Ohio Wedding Planner that if you plan to have a honeymoon registry, it would be best to list that on your wedding website (not on the first page) and to inform people when they ask where you are registered. I’m not a fan of these registries since it seems a bit presumptuous to assume that guests want to pay for a couple’s honeymoon/vacation just because they are marrying, especially these days. But, there are plenty of etiquette experts who feel that these are fine–with limits (seems that there’s always some qualifications on approvals). :huh:

Decisions, decisions 🙂 Good luck with this!