It’s a common enough dilemma. You get invited to a wedding and the pristine invitation requests the presence of your good self ‘plus partner.’ The only trouble is you’re currently single. It shouldn’t really be too hard to think of a male friend who could escort you to the joyous occasion. But before doing so you need to be aware this isn’t like asking him to accompany you to the movies. This is way more serious. Here are five of the most crucial things you need to consider before asking him to a wedding.
If you’re going to ask someone, make sure you know them
It might seem obvious, but you shouldn’t consider inviting someone you don’t actually know that well. Perhaps there’s someone at work you think might fit the bill, a handsome enough guy who scrubs up well and might even instigate pangs of jealousy with other women at the reception. But what if he has a low resistance to alcohol you knew nothing about and ends up disgracing himself? If he makes a nuisance of himself it’ll be you who is held responsible.
He’s going to assume he’s more than a ‘plus one’
The whole essence of any wedding is to celebrate the romantic union between a couple who are in love. The very act of asking a guy to tag along with you to bear witness to this will send out a powerful message, whether you mean to or not. Surrounded by others toasting the happy couple with free-flowing plonk, the actual couples and those who are there as ‘invitees plus ones’ will become a somewhat blurred divide. If he is even remotely attracted to you he’ll assume you already see him as more than a plus one. You need to impress on him his platonic status from the outset.
Are you in the bridal party?
If your position during the day’s procedure is more formal than merely being a guest there isn’t so much need for you to bring a partner. You’ll be spending a fair portion of your day looking after the bride, helping with the refreshments and participating in the official photographs, so you won’t have time to keep him entertained. It wouldn’t be fair to invite him along simply to abandon him every so often, leaving him a lonely figure propping up the bar.
One of the highlights of the whole day is when the bride turns her back on her friends to toss the ceremonial bouquet, instigating a good-natured but often rigorous scramble for the flowers. Should you stand center-most at this crucial moment, ready to muscle in on the action? Categorically not. Those participating in this free-for-all are keen to demonstrate their willingness to be ‘next in line’ to head down the aisle. If you were to catch that bouquet the entire room will assume you wish to do this with that guy who has suddenly become so much more than a plus one.
Does he have party animal tendencies?!
Whoever you are going to invite along, it would be far better to arrive with someone who has sociable tendencies rather than a shrinking violet. Weddings are occasions for everyone to let their hair down, especially when drinks are flowing and the music begins blaring later on. Your partner may not know many of the guests. Whether he’s an old friend or someone you met on a dating website, far better if your plus one is ready to embrace the proceedings and make it a night to remember.
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