Of all the things to worry about when planning a wedding, most grooms don’t really considerselecting the wedding party to be one of them. Unfortunately, this process can often be a lot more difficult than we anticipate. If you’ve got brothers, cousins, college buddies, and elementary school best friends all jockeying to be in your wedding party, you’ve got a tough decision coming your way but keeping these guidelines in mind can be a lifesaver.
Choosing the Best Man
If you’ve got several guys in mind for the sought after position of best man, you’re probably unsure of how to proceed. There are many facets to keep in mind when picking the guy who will keep the ring safe until you say I do, so run through and consider the guy that fits them all.
The Fiancé Factor
When choosing your best man, keep your fiancé in mind. This is half her day as well, so choose someone you know she gets along with and would love to have toasting you in front of all of your friends and family.
A Family Function
If not appointing your brother to the role of best man would ruffle feathers, it might be in your best interest to pick your bro and keep the peace in the family. If he’s not the responsible sort, you can always delegate the various responsibilities to your friends and other groomsmen. This is a very honorary role, and if you’re worried about appearances it’s best to go with the flow for a day you can all enjoy.
Consider the Toast
The best man is going to be toasting you in front of all of your loved ones—don’t pick someone who will turn the speech into a roast. Your best man should be someone who possesses a palpable measure of taste, who won’t go into drunken tirades about that spring break trip back in college, or make inappropriate remarks about how he never thought you would settle down.
The Girl Best Friend
If your best friend is a girl, you can shirk tradition and select her as the best man. Many modern weddings have seen co-ed mixing; men standing on the bride’s side, and women standing on the groom’s. However, this is only acceptable should your wife-to-be deem it so and be truly comfortable with it. If she’s not, then move on and choose someone else—there’s no need to add
any more stress to the day.
The Location Tie Breaker
If there’s a geographical barrier between you and your closest guy friend, this can serve as a tie breaker. You’ll want to choose someone who’s close enough to help you out with the various planning duties (think bachelor party, suit rentals, etc.).
Finding your groomsmen is a little less stressful, as it’s more of a numbers game.
If you’ve got multiple brothers or your bride to be is very close to hers, you may want to include them in your groomsmen party. This cuts down on the picking process, and since you’re all going to be family anyways, you might as well start the bonding early.
Make it Match
You’re going to want the same number of groomsmen that your betrothed has bridesmaids. Since they will also accompany a bridesmaid the entire evening, from the aisle walk to the reception entrance to wedding party seating, make sure you match accordingly—don’t sit your self-proclaimed dog of a best friend next to your bride’s younger sister.
Consider the Duties
It might help you to consider exactly what your groomsmen will be tasked with on the big day. The general responsibilities of groomsmen include greeting and seating guests, helping plan your bachelor party, and completing any behind the scenes work that needs doing (unloading supplies for the ceremony and reception, facilitating present tables, etc.).
Don’t Forget the Gifts
Once you’ve got the team drafted up, make sure you’ve got the gifts covered as well. Customized collar stays will ensure the boys look dapper while you say your vows, and personalized beer growlers will really get the party started while you’re getting ready for the walk down the aisle.
When you’re hunting for your tuxedo squad to stand behind you on the most important day of your life, consider the above and make your wedding day as smooth as possible.