I’m the Maid of Honor; What am I Supposed to Do?

maid of honor and bride

She’s your best friend or sister or oldest friend since childhood and she’s getting married. You’ve been asked to be the maid of honor for her special day and with that honor comes various expectations and responsibilities.

The titles

The bridal party consists of the maid or matron of honor, best man, bridesmaids, groomsmen and possibly a ring bearer and flower girl. The official title is maid of honor if the woman is unmarried and matron of honor if she is married or a widow.

General Responsibilities

All wedding attendants share the same general responsibilities unless otherwise indicated by the bride and groom. It’s important to remember that after accepting a role as a member of a bridal party, the bride and groom are the directors and stars of the day — it’s their special day and your main job is to ensure they have the best day possible.

In general, the maid of honor and other attendants are responsible for the following:

  • Assisting the bride and groom whenever possible
  • Being on time and present for all wedding events — bridal shower, rehearsal dinner, etc.
  • Paying for own wedding attire
  • Paying for own transportation

Etiquette expert Emily Post also states that bridal party members should be attentive to the other guests at the wedding and the reception as well.

maid of honor duties
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Maid of Honor (MOH) General Duties

The maid of honor is the bride’s go-to woman; right-hand; second-in-command; VIP of the bridal party. The MOH walks down the aisle before the bride and stands at her side during the ceremony — adjusting the bridal gown train as needed, holding the groom’s ring until it’s time for ring ceremony, holding the bouquet during the exchange of vows and simply being with support and love.

The MOH and the best man are responsible for keeping the wedding day moving along and on time. This includes calming nerves and fixing the hundred little things that inevitably go awry on any special occasion day.

MOH Specific Duties

It’s a big job, but it’s fun, joyful and one of the most memorable times you’ll spend with the bride. Enjoy it, own it and you will have helped create one of the most important days in lives of the bridal couple. Typically, the MOH is responsible for several basic wedding tasks.

  • Help the bride shop for her dress.
  • Help shop for bridesmaid dresses — embrace whatever dress the bride selects for her attendants. Remember it’s the bride’s day and what she wants, she gets. It’s just one day and you will look great even if the dress is not “your color or style.”
  • Coordinate bridesmaids for dress fittings. Ensure everyone has their dresses and correct accessories at least one week before the wedding. If the bridesmaids are set at least one week prior to the wedding day, the bride will feel more relaxed.
  • Alert the bridesmaids to all dates, times and information regarding any pre-wedding events — from the bridal shower to the bachelorette party.
  • Assist the bride with any pre-wedding tasks, including making guest favors for the reception to addressing invitations.
  • Host the bridal shower and make sure all wedding guests know where the bridal couple is registered.
maid of honor duties
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Emotional Support

One of the most important roles the maid or matron of honor play is the emotional supporter. A bride rides an emotional rollercoaster from the moment that engagement ring slips onto her finger until she’s happily settled on her honeymoon. As maid of honor, you need to be there for her, even when she is under stress. Take a deep breath and try to calmly address her needs as best as possible, remembering that after the wedding she will be transformed from crazed bride into blissfully happy newlywed.