Bachelorette Party for Second Wedding

First of all, thank you all for your advice—it is wonderful.

I am getting married early next year and it is my second marriage. The first one was about three years ago and a big mistake (albeit very short-lived). My fiancé was previously engaged, but this is his first marriage. We’re both in our early thirties. His friends are planning a big bachelor party for him in the Bahamas meaning that all but one of the attendees will have to fly.

I have four very close friends from college, all of whom live out of town. These girls planned a wonderful bachelorette party at the beach for me the first time around. Since then, I’ve become close to a local friend and coworker who asked me the other day what “we were going to plan for my bachelorette party”. I don’t really have any other local friends to whom I’m close. I very uncomfortably answered that I didn’t really think anyone would be up for traveling again for a party and I didn’t feel comfortable asking anyone about it, especially since I can’t plan my own bachelorette party, although I didn’t say that part aloud.

Since then, she hasn’t brought it up again and I certainly haven’t either, but I feel sort of bad—kind of like I blew off her offer to plan something for me. But she wasn’t really offering to plan it, more wondering what I was going to plan. Should I just let the whole thing go and forget about it? Or should I just give her a list of email addresses if she wants to test the waters?

I should also add that I’m a little hurt that my four close college friends don’t seem to be interested in getting together especially as I hear the plans for my fiance’s party taking shape. However, I also understand that my friends already did it once and, as a second-time bride, maybe that ship has sailed. J Anyway, that’s just emotion playing into it and I know the important part is having met and getting to marry this wonderful man, not an alcohol-fueled weekend of debauchery.

Thanks in advance for your feedback!