Is it ok for MOB to wear same color dress as bridesmaids?

My daughter is having a formal 5:00 wedding. She is wearing a long gown and the men will be in tuxedos. The bridesmaids are wearing cocktail length dresses that are purple with a lighter color purple trim. I always thought that I “knew” the MOB should NOT wear the same color as the bridesmaids. However, now, after finally finding the perfect dress(long) – the only two colors that it comes in that work for me are black and eggplant (I can’t wear pastels without looking completely washed out.) The “eggplant” is very similar to the main color of the girls’ dresses. I absolutely love the dress in the eggplant color. I can’t find it anywhere in town or on a website to see how it looks in black. When I expressed my dismay about the color, I was told by the people in the bridal store that the MOB and/or MOG are frequently dressed in the same color as the bridal party. When I talked about it at work, again I was encouraged to go with the eggplant since the style is so different from the girls. When consulting a book on the subject, it said it was not mandatory that the MOB wear the same color as the bridal party (which made it sound OK to do so). I almost had myself convinced that the eggplant would be OK until I came across your website! My daughter said the decision is up to me. However, you all seem so adamantly opposed to the idea of the MOB wearing the same color as the bridesmaids. HELP!

Donna, Wedding Queen, President; Top Wedding Sites, Inc®, a wedding planning guide, and Recent Mother of the Groom –

Any chance you can attach pictures of the bridesmaids dress and your dress w/color swatch?

Irina Feygin,
IMpeccable iMage, Inc. Image and Beauty and For Princess Bride

Eggplant and Purple are not the same colors. You have to compare swatches to make sure the colors are not identical, which I am sure they aren’t. In that case, go ahead with the color you like!


Thanks for the quick response. I’m attaching a file that has a picture of my dress (Montage) and a picture of the bridesmaids dress (Eden) along with the color swatches. I don’t have a color swatch for my dress, but you can see a very small sample of the color. The main color shown in the bridesmaid dress in the attachment is the same color the girls will be wearing, although the contrast color is a little different (more silvery lavender than the lavender pictured here). My daughter had color swatches with her when we went shopping for my dress and the dark color of the girls’ dresses is nearly identical to the eggplant of my dress.
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Attached Files

Attached File Montage.doc 300.5KB 663 downloads

Rebecca Black, Etiquette By Rebecca

I’m surprised that you are finding that information in etiquette books. Mothers shouldn’t be dressed in the same color as the bridesmaids because they might appear as if they are one. They should blend, though, without being dressed more formally than them. The color of your dress isn’t purple. So, that’s great. The only issue I can see is that it may be much too formal. You’d have to decide that for yourself by comparing the two.