Jack and Jill Party in addition to bridal shower?


I already have a bridal shower planned and booked, but my fiance wants to have a Jack and Jill Party too. Is this ok? If we rent a hall and provide food and alcohol can we charge people to get into the Jack and Jill since we are trying to save for a house? (to make a little profit) Any advice appreciated.

Confused about Jack and Jill Rules

Donna, Wedding Queen, President; Top Wedding Sites, Inc

The bride and groom do not host their own bridal shower or any sort of gift giving event for themselves. Please wait for someone to offer to host this optional party for you. A good host never asks their guests to pay so, obviously, your Jack and Jill shower should not be planned by you or paid for by your guests. That would be like inviting people to bring you gifts and the party too.


The bridal shower was planned by our mothers and is being paid for totally by them. However, the Jack and Jill would not be a shower, just basically a party to celebrate our upcoming wedding, with whomever (friends & family) wants to buy a ticket (to cover the cost of food and alcohol)…so maybe I am calling it Jack and Jack when it is not really one? There would be no gifts at the party, only at the shower. Our families do not want to plan another party so that is why we were thinking of planning it ourselves. Cousins and friends of ours have had pre-wedding parties like this, which were referred to as a “Jack and Jills” in the past, so maybe we were calling it incorrectly all this time? So confused…

Rebecca Black, Etiquette By Rebecca

Unfortunately, it appears that no one has been reading what is proper and no one is saying anything about it.

Parents do not invite or host as this is viewed as self serving. They will, rightly so, try to garner the most gifts possible for their children. So, it isn’t proper.

It is also improper to ask your guests to provide your party. If you wish to have a party, just as a party, you provide it. Guests do not pay anything.

A Jack and Jill is a co-ed bridal shower.

Best wishes,

Donna, Wedding Queen, President; Top Wedding Sites, Inc

Whatever you call this party, hosting it to make money is tacky. Sorry, it just is. This is a wedding, not a circus.

If you need to save money for a home, earn it.