My friend is throwing a bridal shower for her daughter who does not want to register for gifts. While her daughter is not particular about what people give as gifts, she would appreciate gift cards to places like Home Depot and Target as they plan to purchase a home that needs significant renovation. My friend is struggling with how to word this on the shower invite, since several people have already asked about gifts. Is there a way to mention the stores they would appreciate gift cards from without sounding like they are asking for money?

Donna, Wedding Queen, President; Top Wedding Sites, Inc

A bridal shower is all about sharing the excitement of the upcoming wedding and sharing the opening of the shower gifts. For that reason, gift cards aren’t appropriate for a bridal shower gift. Plus, it’s never mannerly to tell a gift giver your gift preference unless specifically asked, or insist on any particular gift. Re-focus the bride with regard to the point of the bridal shower, which is not her opportunity to ask guests to fund her home renovation. Whomever is hosting the shower could give it a “home renovation” theme and, if asked, give suggestions for specific items the couple needs for the renovation.

Jay Remer, The Etiquette Guy, International Protocol and Corporate & Social Etiquette

I completely agree with Donna. Asking for cash cannot be disguised. Lots of people do it and it is tacky. If one wants to disseminate such information as quietly as possible, find a gossipmonger. They are great at this. Just refrain from mentioning gifts on invitations (which are not invites, which is a verb). Most importantly, have fun!

Donna, Wedding Queen, President; Top Wedding Sites, Inc

Gifts can be mentioned only on the bridal shower invitation since this is a party that is all about the gifts.