third marriage etiquettez
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Third Wedding Attire & Etiquette

Remarriage: Third Marriage Attire

This is going to be my third wedding and his second. We were both married in a courthouse the first time (not to each other) and I did have a rather nice small ceremony for my second. This time around we want to keep it small but I’m confused about my attire. I have purchased an ivory off-the-shoulder gown with no train and am wondering if I’m allowed to have a veil. My mother insists that I shouldn’t even wear an actual wedding gown this time- just something pastel and churchy-looking. I want us to have something wonderful to remember and if we do something THAT informal I don’t think we’ll be happy with it. What advice can you give me? Also, is there anything else I should know about third wedding etiquette? Thanks!

Wedding Expert

This isn’t a third marriage, this is a first marriage with someone you love, a new beginning. You can have the wedding you and your love wants. There are a few things you may wish to omit just because they just don’t seem appropriate, such as a father walking you down the aisle and certain types of veils.

Up until just recently, veils and trains were only worn by the first time bride. But, now it is perfectly acceptable to wear a train although most do not. A blusher veil is primarily for the first bride, but a draped veil is fine. Flowers are a nice substitute.

There is a plethora of information on I Do, Take Two – website for planning second marriages, weddings and vow renewals and many books are helpful also. The Bride’s Book of Etiquette is an easy to read book that can answer many of your questions.

Remarriage: Third Marriage Etiquette?

How should I handle my mother and family for my third marriage? They are all being very difficult and I feel like they are over it. I understand in some ways from their perspective but it is important to me. I feel funny inviting my relatives to a third wedding and asking for help. Who should I invite, and who should pay for a “third time’s the charm” wedding?

Wedding Expert

First things first, you should pay for your own wedding if it is your third wedding. There is absolutely no reason for somebody else to pay. Don’t ask for a dollar from anybody. This will hopefull go a long way to reducing any cynicism. Keep in mind, though, that your family may have doubts about this marriage, since it’s your third one, and they may voice some of them, that has to come with the territory. At the end of the day if it feels right to you that’s all that matters.

Go ahead and invite everyone you want to have at your wedding, and have the celebration you two crave. But if you feel uncomfortable about asking you can feel out the general vibe from family members.