Instead of doing the lighting of the unity candles, we will instead do the sand ceremony. How can we still have our mothers participate? So many questions, so little time. Thank you.
Annemarie Juhlian, Wedding Officiant & Minister
As a Wedding Officiant in Seattle, I have worked with many couples to honor their mothers during their wedding ceremonies. Honoring family members and special friends during a wedding ceremony is a magnificent act of kindness and gratitude and so appreciated. Consider honoring your mothers: by having your Officiant say special words of thanks and gratitude and having them come forward to receive a rose; handing each mother a flower from your bouquet when you process down the aisle; have the mother do a reading together; have the mothers come forward and assist you with the sand ceremony – perhaps have each mother contribute a small vial of sand to the main container. My best to you!
Reverend Susanna Stefanachi Macomb
You can have your celebrant say this: We now invite the women who gave the bride and groom life, their mothers, to please come forward for the sand ceremony.
Then have your celebrant explain that having your mothers pour some sand into your individual vases represents their giving you life, as well as all their wonderful contributions to your lives. You can also have a flower of choice (i.e. a rose, an orchid or a lily) laying on the table by the vases with attached notes of love and gratitude addressed to your mothers. These notes would be rolled as small scrolls and attached to the flowers with a lovely ribbon. After your mothers finish pouring, you and your groom present your mothers the flowers with the surprise note along with a hug and kiss. (Your mothers will read them after the ceremony in a private moment. I have seen the tears on many a mother’s face when they do this!) The mothers then sit down. You and your groom then pour the rest of the sand into your individual vases. After which, your celebrant will then instruct you to pour your individual sand into the larger vase indicating your new life together.
You can pour by alternating two different color sands so that it makes for a beautiful design, reflecting the beautiful merging of your life and souls.
Reader Response:
Thank you for the suggestions. They are beautiful. I should have mentioned that the “Mom” I am referring to is really not my biological mother. Is it still OK for her to be the one to pour the sand into the container? I guess we can just change the wordings…
Reverend Susanna Stefanachi Macomb
Absolutely! You simply change the words a bit. Here are two examples:
Celebrant: There are two women for which words could never relay the gratitude in our bride and groom’s hearts, their mothers. (Mothers’ names) you have contributed so much to (bride and groom’s names)’s lives and they wish to symbolically thank you by inviting you to join them in their sand ceremony.
Celebrant: We now invite the women whose contributions are immeasurable in the lives of our bride and groom, their mothers, to please come forward for the sand ceremony. I hope this helps!
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