We are inviting several priests to our wedding. Three of the priests are considered “Father,” one is an “Abbot,” one is “Deacon,” and the last is “Monsignor.” How do I address invitations for each of these? Currently, for the Fathers, I have listed “The Reverend James Sand”, for the Abbot I have “Abbot James Sand”, for the Deacon I have “Mr. and Mrs. James Sand”, and, I guess, for Monsignor I will write, “Monsignor James Sand.” This is all quite confusing to me. Do you have any suggestions?

Sincerely – DH

Rebecca Black, Etiquette By Rebecca

Dear DH,

Honestly, I don’t use this form of etiquette much and am rarely asked. So, I had to look it up for myself [;)]

You are correct that the ‘Fathers’ are addressed as: The Reverend Sand. The Deacon could be addressed as Reverend Deacon Sand, with his wife’s name under his or joined with ‘and’. However, it is best to ask if this is the case in your church. There are three differing opinions on how to address a Monsignor. One is The Very Reverend Monsignor, The Very Right Reverend Monsignor Sand or The Right Monsignor Sand. You may have to ask about that one as well. Right Reverend John Doe, (Initials of Order) appears to be the favored address for the Abbot.

Best wishes,

Best wishes,

dahall

Thank you so much for your help. What source did you use to find the answers? I searched what I thought was everything and came up empty-handed. Also, thanks for the correct spelling of Monsignor.

Thanks – DH [;)]