Grooms Parents not part of the Wedding Party??

My son’s wedding will be about 1 1/2 hours away from home. The brides parents are putting the Wedding Party up for the weekend which is at the same place they will be getting married at. The inn has 16 rooms and there are 6 more rooms at a Villa about 5 minutes down the road. The Bride is assigning rooms and I was told by my son that I need to call the inn to get my room assignment and give them my credit card and to pass along this information to both sets of his grandparents. The Brides mother is paying for her grandparents to stay there as well as her Aunts and Uncles which have little kids in the wedding. I am hesitant to say anything because I don’t want to stir up anything.

My husband and I are giving the rehearsal dinner on Friday night and will be paying for all of the wedding party and their guest including the her grandparents and Aunts and Uncles.

How should I approach this?

Donna, Wedding Queen, President; Top Wedding Sites, Inc

What is the question? Why are you asking about the groom’s parents not being included as part of the wedding party?

concerned mom

I feel like it’s proper etiquette to pay for our room as well being we are the grooms parents. Shouldn’t we be considered part of the wedding party? Do you think the brides parents should pay for our room? They are paying for everyones room but the grooms parents and the grooms grandparents. I really feel like it’s a slap in the face

Also they gave me a list of 40 people to invite to the rehearsal dinner to include her grandparents and her aunts and uncles. In my book it’s proper etiquette to pay for them.
What do you think?

Donna, Wedding Queen, President; Top Wedding Sites, Inc

These are two different questions. The question regarding the rehearsal dinner has been answered many times before, so be sure to use the search before posting. The basic answer is that you, the host, along with the bride and groom, decide on the rehearsal dinner guest list.

For a destination wedding the bride and groom should pay for their attendants lodging, not their parents. I don’t really think your wedding should be classified as a destination wedding, however, the couple isn’t obligated to pay for the lodging of their parents anyway.

Brandi Hamerstone

I agree that you – the bride and groom can decide on the guest for the Rehearsal. While the MOB may have given you a list, you are welcome to organize the event as you see fit. If this is something that the bride & groom wish to have as a small, intimate dinner, then the 40 person list just from the MOB will probably not work.
As far as lodging goes, the bride’s parents are never under any obligation to pay for lodging for the groom’s parents. If they choose to pay for some of their out of town family, that is just a financial choice they are making, not something based on etiquette.

Rebecca Black, Etiquette By Rebecca

Great advice. I agree that they are not obligated to pay for your room and are just being generous to their family by paying for them.