How to word invite for vow renewal

I’m making out the invitations for our renewal ceremony and I’m not sure how to word it. Here is what we are planning.

A quick informal renewal ceremony around 5pm with a luau BBQ right after (food starting at 6pm) with a big tent, dance floor, a band, and anniversary cake with tropical flowers on it. Kids are invited. Most of the food will be BBQ style with beer and pina coladas/daquiris for adults and a slush machine and pop for the kids. I’ll be wearing some kind of informal destination dress and my husband and boys will be in matching luau shirts and beach khakis (I don’t know how else to describe them) and my daughter in a matching luau type dress. We would like to let people know that nice luau attire is preferred and I don’t want anyone thinking we want gifts because we don’t.

But….I’m not sure how to politely put any of that on the invitations.

Donna, Wedding Queen, President; Top Wedding Sites,

Just tell me where and when! heh Sounds like a fun party.

There is never any mention of gifts (even not wanting them) on an invitation. But, a vow renewal is not a gift giving event anyway, so I’d think your guests would already know. if they don’t, most will use the internet to find out or they’ll ask. if asked , you can just say that gifts are not necessary…

You can probably use an enclosure to say what sort of attire is expected, but I’ll let Rebecca, our resident etiquette expert, answer on that accord.

Have fun!

Rebecca Black, Etiquette By Rebecca

I agree! This sounds like a fun time and a perfect vow renewal.

The invitations can be informal since your event is. So, you can invite your guests to a “Luau Theme Vow Renewal and Party”. “Please feel free to dress the part.” Of course, you can choose better words than this, as this is just an example. Basically, you can mention the dress code because this is informal and not a wedding. We have a lot more leeway with these.


Thank you. We have over 200 people plus kids invited, but I don’t expect that many to come. My husband is on the fire department, so almost half of the people invited are from the department and their families. We’ll probably add a bonfire too. We just want it to be fun and have our kids (15, 14, & 11) involved somehow.


Ok cool. My biggest worry is people showing up in coconut bras (mostly the guys hahaha) and cut off jeans, but we would really like to see hawaiian shirts and/or dresses and such.


Sorry for your loss. I know it couldn’t have been easy.

The department is definitely like a 2nd family. My family is all out of state (TX), hence one of the reasons we just went to the court house for our first wedding. It was just getting too expensive trying to get both of our families together. He was stationed near my family while he was in the Army when we met and then we moved up by his family (MI) when he got out. His Army friends used to be our 2nd family and now it is the fire department.

Donna, Wedding Queen, President; Top Wedding Sites

It happened a long time ago…but thanks for your kind words.

Rebecca Black, Etiquette By Rebecca

It might help adding a picture or suggest “Hawaiian attire” on the invitation. But, there is no guarantee whether guests will or will not have a little fun with their attire. Life gets so heavy and difficult some times, that people tend to want to “let it all hang out” every once in a while. Sometimes, unfortunately, we don’t consider the situation or event as much as we should. B)


This is what we we are going to be putting on the invitations we got at Walmart

..let me know what you think…

It’s a luau!!!
With mai-tais and daiquiris and plenty of food
Come join the party and get in the mood
Wear Hawaiian outfits and we’ll have the leis
We’re renewing our vows the tropical way

Then our names, date, and address

Rebecca Black, Etiquette By Rebecca

Perfect! I love it!