Stepmother of the Groom dress issue

My stepson (we are quite close) is getting married in July. It is a 4pm wedding with an evening reception with dancing. The attendants are wearing tuxes and floor length black gowns. The groom is wearing a white tux and the bride is wearing a balck and white dress. My husband and son are attendants and my three daughters are flower girls (black dresses as well).

The groom’s mother is difficult at the best of times and is unwilling to share the info on her outfit. The mother of the bride has not yet decided on an outfit.

There is little to no communication between my husband and his first wife and I expect none on the big day. Seating and reception etiquette has been a nightmare.

I have been allowed small areas of helping with the preparations, but not much.

What is the current etiquette for dressing the stepmother of the groom?

Thank you

Elaine Hines, Eternal scholar of etiquette.

As the stepmother of the groom, you are an adult and may presumably be trusted to choose an appropriate ensemble to wear. 🙂

Mind you, it does sound like you’re in a difficult situation with your stepson’s mother, but the best way to handle it is to rise above it. Neither you, nor she, nor the bride’s mother are required to consult each other about your clothing for the day. As you are not members of the bridal party, you need not “match” or coordinate in color or style. Choose a dress you like, that you feel pretty in, and have a lovely evening.

Rebecca Black, Etiquette By Rebecca

Agreed, you would dress as one of the guests if you are not considered one of the mothers. However, if you are being treated as one of the mothers (escorted and seated as one, you would be coordinating with the other mothers. You could keep trying to contact the MOB to coordinate with her. She might know what the MOG is wearing–that would help. But, if not, you could coordinate with her without dressing more formally than her.

Donna, Wedding Queen, President; Top Wedding Sites, Inc®

it’s always sad when the parents can’t get along. I’m sorry this has to be happening on such a joyful day.

Maybe the groom could pry the info out of his mom??? :unsure: