When to send thank you notes for gifts received before wedding Gifts Received 2 Months Before Wedding


My fiancé and I have already begun receiving gifts for our June wedding. We accidentally opened one thinking that it was a shower gift (it arrived the same week that a bridal shower was held in my honor). I am not sure what to do – do we open the gifts now and send thank you cards so the senders know that we received their gifts or do we wait until we are married to open them and proceed to send thank you cards? Please advise, I would hate to be rude.

Thank you,


Donna, Wedding Queen, President; Top Wedding Sites, Inc

Hello Melissa –

Since your guests will want to know their gift arrived safely, please open them as they arrive and send a thank you card asap. You won’t use the gifts until after the wedding takes place since gifts should be returned if the marriage doesn’t happen. Sorry I had to mention that – don’t want to be a Donna Downer :huh:, but it has been known to happen in a few cases.

Also, be sure to send the thank you cards from you and your groom – both should sign and write some personal message that lets your guest know how much you like the gift or how it will be used. Never send out those pre-written, stamped things! If a guest went to the trouble to shop, you want to be sure to go to the trouble to write a few lines of thanks.

Hope this helps,

Jodi R R Smith, The Mannersmith Etiquette Consulting

Melissa ~ You are my new favorite bride! Yes, do write the thank you notes now. But as Donna mentioned, do not use the gifts until after the wedding. I wish you all the best. ~ Jodi

Donna, Wedding Queen, President; Top Wedding Sites, Inc

Mine too, Jodi. It’s so nice to hear that being mannerly isn’t a thing of the past.