Wording for two receptions

I am getting married in my hometown in KY. My fiance is from TN. His mother asked us if we would be okay with having a reception in his hometown after the honeymoon for the guests that were unable to make the trip. We would play the video from the ceremony and then do cake and dinner all over again. I am okay with that idea, since I know there are a lot of people that would like to attend the wedding in KY but won’t be able to. My question is, do I send everyone an invitation to the wedding with a note that there will also be a second reception, or do I send just a reception invitation to those that I think would rather to that? I haven’t found that many people have two receptions like this, so I have no idea what proper etiquette is in this situation. Thanks for any help!!

Rebecca Black, Etiquette By Rebecca

Dear Mary,

Since your second reception will be very soon after your wedding, you could include this invitation (a separate invitation) with the wedding invitation to all who will be invited to the second reception. Invite all you want to the wedding whether or not you feel they can attend. People surprise us sometimes.

Best wishes,


I thought about doing that, but we’re trying to stick to a modest budget which will be easier with fewer guests at the first reception. I’m also worried about being rude by inviting some people just to the second reception though.

Rebecca Black, Etiquette By Rebecca

Only invite those you wish to attend your wedding and first reception. The second reception in out of town. So, it is perfectly appropriate to invite these guests to only that reception. It just wouldn’t be appropriate to invite guests to the wedding and not the first reception.