Father of the Groom as groomsmen or usher

I’ve been planning my wedding for several months now. Is it OK to have the father of the groom serve as a groomsmen/usher? The brother of the groom is the best man. Please advise.

Rebecca Black, Etiquette By Rebecca

Dear Teach,

If he is in the wedding, he really should be best man. It may be insulting to only be a groomsman. But, if he is fine with it, there is no rule against it.

Best wishes,


That’s what I thought and what I’ve told everyone involved. We’ve decided that he would not be a groomsman and just be the father of the groom. Thanks for you advice.

Rebecca Black, Etiquette By Rebecca

In my opinion, that is a much bigger honor. Good decision.


It is perfectly acceptable to ask a father to be a groomsman, but ushers usually stand in the back of the church during the ceremony, so I wouldn’t do that. Maybe Dad would rather sit and enjoy the ceremony, so let him choose.


Thank you for the reply. We’ve decided that he’ll just be father of the groom and enjoy the celebration with the mother of the groom. Both are agreeable. Janet