Can’t We Just Ask for Cash as Our Wedding Gift?
Thinking about putting in invitations No gifts please. There will be a money tree for anyone wishing to contribute to the honeymoon. My girlfriend did this for her wedding and I thought it was a good idea. But is this rude??!!
Wedding Queen
It’s never OK to ask for gifts of any type. Presents are a custom, not a requirement. It is impolite to assume that your guests would give you gifts so, to include “no gifts please” within your wedding invitation would not be proper. As we have responded many times before… the best way to ‘get the word out about your money tree’ is through friends and family, or a private wedding web site.
Regarding the money tree…in my opinion this is a bit tacky and could cause a guest to be embarassed if they hadn’t heard about the tree, don’t care to give money, or if they feel pressured to give more since other guests will see what they are adding to themoney tree. I would discard this idea and replace it with a gift registry and/or a honeymoon registry, passing the word about the registries through family and friends or if directly asked. The bridal shower invitation could include the gift registry since showers are considered a gift giving event.
Etiquette Now
Congrats on your engagement! When it comes to gifts, you shouldn’t ask for specific gifts. Let your family and close friends know that you’d prefer gift cards or cash if they ask you personally. If guests ask your family (they will) they can let your guests know what you prefer. That’s the subtle (and only) way to do it.
The Guy Next Door
There is no “polite” way to ask for cash from your guests. It’s tacky to officially ask for cash. Here’s a way around it though. Don’t ask, but do tell. Let your closest friends and family members know — and then share — your preferences with your befuddled friends who will be asking, “What can we possibly give them? They’ve been together forever. They must have everything!” In turn, they can reply: “In fact, they are saving to buy a house, I know that some extra cash towards a downpayment would be amazing.”
Is it Rude to Ask for Wedding Monetary Gifts?
Yes it is. Like the suggestions above, about the only way to get monetary gifts is to let parents, siblings, wedding party, and close friends know and they’ll subtely let others know if asked. Don’t even think about doing it on the invitation or telling people yourselves if they ask.
6 Cash Wedding Registry Options
Thanks to the internet, there are several ways to register for cash gifts (that isn’t rude or tacky). Call it a honeymoon fund, a home-building account, or unapologetically call it nothing: just provide the link to your family and friends and let it rain.
- My Registry: This site allows you to aggregate all your store registries into one location, but also offers a cash option.
- HoneyFund: Explain to family and friends what you’ll be spending your money on. The system allows for people to send cash directly, or to use Paypal.
- NewlyWish: This platform makes it easy to pull items from all sorts of stores and boutiques for your registry, and also request cash.
- Our Wishing Well: Choose gift options through Our Wishing Well—honeymoon, luggage sets, home entertainment system—and guests can contribute.
- Wedding Republic: Wedding Republic specializes in cash registries. Guests can send a card with donations.
- Simple Registry: Here, you can register for all different types of gifts—experiences, too— and all of the options are cash refundable.