Are you a wedding planning control freak? Learn to let go

Let’s face it; no matter how hard you try to stretch them, there are only 24 hours in a day. Take out the time you need for your work, sleeping, socializing, working out, and errand time – that leaves you with not much time to plan your wedding, unless you delegate.

The first thing a bride and groom should do is figure out how much time they can, and should, devote to planning their wedding. Every day, one day a week, or plan for a full straight month and get it over with?

Also, couples need to analyze their lifestyle and personalities at the current time. For example, is she busy at work? Is he working on his master’s degree? Is she super organized, or not? Is she a control freak? Is it the couple’s preference to spend time with their family and friends, etc. Life, or time, does not stop when you’re planning a wedding.

Finally, a bride and groom are usually afraid to give up control of their wedding fearing they will lose that vision they have in mind. Who can blame them, it’s their day. So, what are they willing to let go of?

What wedding planning tasks should you delegate and to whom?


delegate wedding planning tasks
Learn to let go and share the wedding planning tasks!

Delegate is a great word, when used wisely. We all delegate in some way. We look to experts to do our taxes, car repair, and even clean our car, because we either do not have the time or we’re just not good at it. A wedding, big or small, cannot happen unless a bride and groom share the celebration and tasks with other people.

If at all possible, leave it to the professionals. If you don’t know how to make centerpieces, hire a florist. If you don’t know how to sew, buy your dress. If you have a friend or relative who loves designing invitations, there you go! Hiring a wedding coordinator is ideal, because a coordinator can guide you thru almost everything. Even wedding planners hire other planners to help them, because they want to make sure your day goes off without a hitch. But the reality is, in today’s economy, and with our hectic schedules, we cannot afford to hire everybody we would like to help us.

So here’s what you do:

  • Find a few people in your life that you trust and are dependable.
  • Give them a few small tasks at a time.
  • Be specific: Don’t ask sweet Aunt Joan to “Call restaurants” for your rehearsal dinner, give her a detailed list to call and with a specific list of questions for each.
  • Giving volunteers reasonable tasks will make them feel like they’re helping with your celebration, not serving as your personal assistant.
  • Take the hardest task that is on your list and break it down into small tasks, and ask your bridesmaids to help you. You know which task that is – finding everybody’s address, the seating chart, the RSVPs, etc.
  • Give your fiancé a task like buying the groomsmen gifts. You laugh? Give them a task, but remember break down that task. For example, determine your budget, then figure out your groomsmen’s style and personality, find a theme, and validate his ideas. You can give him ideas, but you should have him make the decision on what kind of gifts.
  • Use a real checklist and check off what you accomplish.
  • Don’t make the list too complicated, but do add who is assigned to each task.
  • If you don’t have a list, you can’t see what you’ve done so far, or not.
  • Only use one to-do list at a time.
  • Do hire professionals for certain tasks.
  • Don’t over delegate, even (especially!) to yourself.
  • Don’t under delegate, unless your helper is your 5-year old flower girl.
  • Be grateful and show appreciation to your helpers. Saying thank you and giving them a hug is often enough.
  • After you read this, start your checklist.

What tasks have you delegated?