Pros and Cons of Being Maid of Honor



So you have been entrusted with the top wedding role a woman could have: maid of honor. This role is certainly a privilege, as you will enjoy behind-the-scenes memories that no one else will have a chance to experience. From helping the bride choose her wedding dress to taste-testing different cakes and sweets, the maid of honor has many duties to look forward to alongside her true friend. However, considering that the bride isn’t perfect and will likely have moments where she cracks under pressure, this job is also a responsibility. Is being maid of honor an honor worth taking? Read on and decide for yourself.

The Cons of Being Maid of Honor

Mood swings are highly likely.

The bride is under a tremendous amount of pressure. She is one of the leaders of this special event. As you are, she too is working around the clock to ensure that her wedding day is a page out of her personal fairy tale. The spirit of perfectionism, however, is a dangerous thing—especially when it is pushed onto everyone else. You have to be prepared to withstand a storm of lectures over why you arrived five minutes late or why you didn’t warn her that it could actually rain on the day of her wedding and the cathedral veil her heart was set on having could be a problem.

You will need to deliver a speech!

A great deal of responsibility rests on you to deliver a speech that will help set a relaxed, lighthearted tone. Your speech should be brief, but it should also be effective. Many people’s nerves begin to surface at the very thought of public speaking. The speech will require preparation (as if you didn’t have enough duties as maid-of-honor already!). You will need to set aside time to write a great one.

If you have any problems with the groom, you will have to look past them.

Don’t try to stick it to him in your maid-of-honor speech. Don’t give him the evil eye when the bride isn’t looking. Focus on his strengths—if you really look closely enough, you will find at least one or two. Remember, the bride isn’t crazy—she actually fell in love with the guy for a reason.

Being maid-of-honor will test your level of patience, perhaps as never before.

Many women take on this special job, but every situation is different. The bride could say something that you feel is grounds for ending a friendship. Or she might call you with sob stories and cries of anxiety over the future at 3 o’clock in the morning. One way or another, your patience will be tested and you have to be ready for the test at any time leading up to (or even during) the wedding.

The Pros of Being Maid of Honor

Your bond with the bride will grow stronger.

As maid of honor, you have the privilege of taking part in one of the most special events in the bride’s life: her wedding! You have a chance to help her choose bridesmaid dresses, decorations, and maybe even the menu. She is counting on you to be there for her, and as a true friend you will be. Not every woman has the honor of helping a bride prepare for this momentous occasion. All the time and energy spent preparing will lead to an even stronger friendship. And—as we all know how difficult it is to find true friends—the difficult parts of being maid of honor is certainly worth the reward.

You can give a speech from which the bride, groom, and wedding guests will draw inspiration to love wholeheartedly.

Your speech only needs to last a few minutes, and you simply need to speak genuine words from within. Remember to do your research on different tips on writing maid of honor speech and plan ahead—you don’t want to write your speech the night before. Recall a funny, endearing story about the bride and groom. Remember to speak with enthusiasm and hope. Keep the tone lighthearted and inspiring. And remember, the pressure isn’t really on you. The bride and groom’s overwhelming love will fill the entire venue. Your job is to simply highlight their love with words.

Your skills will improve in several areas.

Whether it’s organizational skills you need to keep track of all the tasks the bride has given you or social skills that will grow from preparing and delivering a quality speech, get ready for rapid improvement. In the areas where you are weak, you will grow stronger. If your skill levels in a particular area are already remarkable, you can still improve those even more. See this list for several duties that could set the stage for growth as MOH.

The bride will always remember your selfless heart.

After the wedding day, the bride will have time to reflect on all that happened leading up to that day. If she was harsh at times, she will remember your response. Love is patient and kind; it is slow to anger. If she remembers how you exemplified love in this midst of hostility, you will have painted a fresh picture of how she can respond to her husband when tempers get testy. Love is what helps any relationship endure. Remember that as you carry out your maid-of-honor duties. Reminding her of a selfless, loving spirit is one of the best gifts you can give. (Visit for a few pointers on being a selfless MOH.)

So, what do you think? Is being the maid of honor an assignment filled with problems, or is it a privilege you would be proud to take? Yes, there will be challenges as maid of honor, but as a true friend you can choose not to grow discouraged and rise to the occasion—a special occasion that means the world to your true friend.