The couple and guests always look forward to the best man speech at weddings, so it is necessary the introduction is funny, appropriate and captures the audience. The best man speech stands to tell the audience about the couple or groom, for the sake of guests who are not very familiar with the couple. As much as that’s the aim, humor makes the story more interesting. You would not want to dash the hopes of your fans. Would you? We know right?
- “For the benefit of those not familiar with me, my name is (insert best man’s name) and the groom bestowed the best man honor on me. Before I begin, I would like to seek pardon. The groom asked me not to mention any of his ex-girlfriends or flings. He also says my speech should not contain any insinuations. Well, I have done his bidding, albeit heartbreaking, because I’m a truthful person. But I took out only the ones I could see. If by mistake I mention any, remember to grant me pardon.”
- “My name is (insert best man’s name) and my duty as I stand here today is, to tell the truth, and nothing but the truth about (insert groom’s name). He is a friend whom I’ve known for 20 years. He is a God-lover (rolls eyes), a gym enthusiast, a goal getter, a selfless and honest man, very intelligent and a model citizen. All these I mentioned are the things he asked me to say. Well, let me begin my own speech.”
- “Hello everyone here today. We are grateful for your presence, you all made it here and that’s a feat, because left to the groom (insert groom’s name), this hall would be empty. We all know you came here for the bride (insert bride’s name) as she is the sweetest woman ever. She bakes cookies for everyone in the neighborhood, but my friend here keeps eating almost half the worth before they get to you. My friend is not so selfless, so we are grateful he married a selfless woman. He won’t suffer too much. Her good deeds will cover for both of them.”
- “My wise parent’s aunts and forefathers told me that if I had nothing good to say, I should keep quiet, sit down and mind my business. I have nothing good to say right now. So dear everyone- if you’d excuse me (go take your seat).”
- “Hello hello!! I am the best man and his (insert groom’s name) younger brother. He’s three years older and for the sake of truth, I cannot say he’s the best thing that happened to my growing up years. From the day he asked me to be his best man, I’ve thought of good qualities I can attribute to him, but I keep getting nightmares of the hell he put me through instead. He hid my toys, he snatched my candies, and he bullied me when dad was out. I could go on and on, but one thing he never failed to do, was to protect me. With this, I can say he’s the best brother one can ever have. Bride (insert bride’s name), you’re in safe hands.”
- “My name is (insert best man’s name) and I am the best man today. The groom is my best friend and we go way back to college. He asked me to be his best man and I am lost on what to say about him. I am trying hard to see any good thing I can say about him, but it’s not working. The big man is even scared of roaches (shakes head). Well, the bride (insert bride’s name) sees many good things in him, even the ones we can’t see (coughs), that’s why she’s marrying him. Who are we to say otherwise? My friend here is one lucky man”
- “The groom (insert groom’s name) is not such a people’s person. He has no friends, none at all who could be his best man. I am the man who sells pizza across his workplace and today is the first time I have talked with him for more than 5 minutes. He was even in a hurry. He asked the apple seller first, he declined, then four other sellers. I was his last resort and make no mistake, I get paid after this.”
- “A wise bird whispered to me that a great best man speech should last for the duration it takes for the groom to make love. I am also trying to cover for my best friend here. So give me a minute, let me consult with the bride (insert bride’s name) on how short or shorter a session takes. I love to obey instructions.”
- “As of this morning, I will have you know that you (insert groom’s name) have been officially ejected from your parent’s home. Your room has also been converted to another guest’s room and all your medals and rugby paraphernalia are in the attic. Just thought to tell you beforehand, so that you don’t go running home whenever your wife is angry with you. Stay home and solve it.”
- “Before I start, I want to relay an advice from the guests here. They say marriage is a team and both of you are teammates who will do teamwork to succeed. Going by this, the groom (insert groom’s name), be obedient in taking the orders. We all know she’s (insert bride’s name) always right! “
Each best man speech in this post is funny and a great way to unfurl your best man speeches. We got you covered all around. Pick up the microphone and get on with your speech in confidence. Each funny best man speech will leave you to lighten up!