Bridal Party to not include siblings and nephews, okay? Avoiding hurt feelings while getting what I want

My fiance and I are newly engaged and are planning a somewhat non traditional wedding ceremony for summer 2012, but one that will include a bridal party and groom attendants. I have 4 close girlfriends that I want to be in my bridal party as they have been a big part in nurturing our relationship over the last 7 years and it would mean a lot to me to have them stand with me. I also want to ask my teenage niece, whom I don’t see a whole lot but we have sort of a sisterly relationship and I think she would be over the moon if I asked her. My fiance has 3 friends and his brother already picked out for his attendants. I was in both my older brother and older sister’s weddings as a bridesmaid, both nearly 10 years ago. My brother lives across the country and my sister lives nearby but we rarely spend any time together. I also have 3 nephews, 2 of which may not even be officially part of our family (my sister and her husband are separating), although they will always be family to me regardless. It’s not that I am not close to these family members, we just don’t interact regularly and they haven’t been a regular part of our life as much as the other people I would like to ask. Are they going to expect to be part of the bridal or groom party? Do I need to bring it up and discuss it or can I just not ask them to be bridesmaids/attendants and assume they will understand? Can I invite them to participate somewhere else in the ceremony so they feel included (*any ideas for this?*)? Thanks so much for any advice.

Donna, Wedding Queen, President; Top Wedding Sites, Inc

Rest easy…you should ask only those closest to you.

Here is an article on how to choose your bridal party that you may find helpful.

Rebecca Black, Etiquette By Rebecca

I agree. And, please wait until you have all of your plans made and know exactly what type of wedding you will host and where it will be held. Sometimes plans change and couples are forced to plan a smaller wedding with fewer attendants. So, it is very important to know how many you will want/need before inviting others to join the bridal party.

Please note that the more formal the wedding, the more attendants. And, the less formal, the fewer.


Thanks so much for a quick and helpful response! Do you have other resource articles for ideas on other roles I could put siblings and nephews into? Thanks again!

Donna, Wedding Queen, President; Top Wedding Sites, Inc

Please list that as a new question. Thanks!