Not invited to coworker’s wedding, gift etiquette? HELP!
My coworker’s wedding is tomorrow. My entire office is going or was invited, including the assistant receptionist, but not me. At first when people started talking about her wedding I didn’t think much about not getting invited because I have not known her as long as some of my other coworkers have and I assumed she was just having a smaller guest list.
But now I realize I was the only person that wasn’t invited and I don’t know if I should be offended or assume it was an oversight/lost invitation. When all my other coworkers are talking about the wedding and how to get there, who’s wearing what, etc. I just stare at my shoes and try not to look sad. I feel like they must know that I’m not invited because no one has asked me if I was going or not or a single question about it. If I am nearby when they are talking about the wedding (which was all day today), they seem to be ignoring my presence. Do they think I didn’t RSVP or something? Are they just being rude and they know I wasn’t invited? I’m so confused.
Honestly, I don’t know if I would have attended because I am incredibly broke right now. I was working part-time to begin with and now I’m only getting a few shifts a month, but I certainly wanted to send a card and $50 or so to wish her the best and congratulate her.
I could still get her a card and have a coworker give it to her tomorrow, but I’m worried about it making things more awkward. I have no idea what to do. There are less than 20 people in my office, so I don’t see how it could have been a mistake.
How do you you approach the wedding gift situation when you are not invited/ possibly snubbed?
Rebecca Black, Etiquette By Rebecca
This is a very good reason not to invite those from the workplace. But, when we do, we only invite those who are closest to us. As you state, you are not close to her. It doesn’t make it any less embarrassing, though, to be the one standing without a chair. I’m sorry for that.
It is best just to mail a card to her to congratulate her and her new husband. This is the mature thing to do. And, please remember that this had nothing to do with you. She just must have invited those she really knows well.