lessons after first marriage

5 Lessons Learned after a First Wedding

lessons after first marriage

If you’ve ever known a person who married more than once, and had more than one wedding, it is clear that the first wedding and the second often bear little resemblance.  Of course this has to do with the kind of ceremony the couple is interested in having, but it also has a fair bit of influence from 20-20 hindsight.

The first time a person marries, it is impossible to know what little details will really stand out as outright regrets after the fact.  Most people spend so much time worrying about the venue, the flowers, the dress and the menu that they forget to worry about the things list below, which are what most couples actually report as being their biggest regrets after the fact.  Luckily you will have the advantage of learning from others’ mistakes armed with this top 5 countdown of couples biggest regrets after the wedding ceremony.

5.  The Money Spent.
Some couples regret having spent too much money on an event that seems to pass in a flash.  Others regret not having splurged a bit more (mainly on the videographer or photographer as you will read about coming up).  How to know which way to go?  This one is really a personal preference, but it’s best to always go with your gut reaction.

4.  The Bridal Party.

Poor choices as to who to include, and including too many people, can easily cause an otherwise awesome bridal party to go awry.  It’s your big day so don’t worry to much about hurting feelings, and try to eliminate anyone both parties don’t agree on to save for painful ‘I told you so’s’ mid-ceremony.

3.  The MC and/or Music.

It’s not necessarily the band or the DJ that become the bummer on the day, it’s the lack of direction given to the band or DJ that people would change.  It might seem a bit over the top at the time to go through and hand-pick the set list, but in this case it’s better safe than sorry.  Nobody likes to be surprised with a sudden ‘chicken dance’ thrown into the mix at their classy black tie wedding, or with a racy hip hop track in an attempt to get guests to dance in front of poor Grandma.

2.  The Number of Guests.

Rarely does anyone regret having too few guests.  Many people, however, think the wedding feels more chaotic the more people are in attendance.  This can cause everything from extra stress to extended budgets, and the event turning into more of a reunion than a wedding.  Consider scheduling more social opportunities for larger numbers of guests pre-wedding, such as picnics, dinners and cocktail hours, to avoid having to chat to everyone on your big day- when you want to focus on one special someone.

1.  The Photography.
The number one regret across the board is not having picutres with all the people they want memories with on the day.  Many people report ending up without a single photo with Mom, for example, and regret not having this professional image that can never truly be re-created.  Be sure to make a list of the picture you would like to have, and to either introduce the photographers to the VIPs on your list, or appoint a bridal party member to the task, so as not to regret missed photographic opportunities later.

Sharon Freeman is a freelance writer who enjoys writing about anything from weddings, fashion & music.