Should I Ask My Fiance’s Sister to Be A Bridesmaid?
I recently got engaged and I am wondering who I should ask to be in my bridal party. My fiance is one of three boys. I have a good relationship with his sister-in-laws. Is it normal to ask them to be bridesmaids? Yes, I’m positive their husband’s will be groomsmen. Or should I just stick with my own friends and family? I am 27 years old and they are 35 and 37.
You’re very sweet to be so concerned about who’s in your bridal party and to take such care in your selection.
Here are some guidelines to use to help make your bridal party selections:
My general rule of thumb is to invite women with whom you’re close.
Don’t invite someone out of some perceived obligation.
The number of bridesmaids do not have to equal the number of groomsmen.
Choose ladies you know to be reliable, since bridesmaids do have a certain level of responsibility (showing up for dress fittings, making payments for their attire, being on time for appointments, communication between other bridesmaids, assisting the bride/groom and planning pre-wedding parties — if they offer to host)).
So, if you love these sisters-in-law, and you think they will appreciate the role, then go ahead and ask them. To avoid hurt feelings I’d ask all or none. Please note that you’re not obligatedto ask any family members (though most often these are our close relationships) or friends who asked you to be their bridesmaid.
I would love to include my fiance’s sister in our wedding. I don’t have space for her to be a bridesmaid though. Are there any tasks you can think of that she can do?
Instead of trying to come up with some insignificant way for her to contribute (like serving your signature cocktails when she’d really like to be spending time with her husband or family), consider giving her a special corsage to wear, giving her seats of honor at the ceremony (in the second row, behind her parents) and at the reception, and making sure she is included in all of the family pictures.
Bridesmaids: Do I Have to Include My Future Sister-In-Law?
I really do not get along with my future husband’s sister. Do I have to include her in the wedding party?
It depends on the family. In some families it is expected and you could kick off a storm if you don’t include them. In other families they would be surprised if you asked. This is your wedding of course so nobody can tell you what to do, but remember that this is also your new family so ask yourself if this is the foot you want to kick the relationship off with.
Like it or not, she is going to be your sisters-in-law very soon. If you don’t currently get along well, not asking his sister could make your relationship worse. If bridemaid duty is too much for you, then have her do readings during the ceremony or stand up on your fiance’s side.
Including a Future Sister-in-Law as a Bridesmaid?
My mother was shocked that I wasn’t planning to include my fiance’s sister as one of my bridesmaids. My future sister-in-law is perfectly nice and has always made me feel at home in their family, but she is much older than me and I wouldn’t call us particularly close. Am I obligated to include her as one of my bridesmaids regardless?
I normally recommend including her as a bridesmaid. Whether you are close to her or not, asking your fiance’s sister to be a bridesmaid is a great way to include her in your celebration. Imagine if your own sibling were getting married—wouldn’t you want to play a part in the big day? Plus, you are going to be family once you and her brother tie the knot.
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