Step-mother of bride looking for advice on a gift

My step-daughter (29 now) is getting married (her mom died of breast cancer). I met her father a year after the death of her mother (about 9 years ago now). She has never allowed us to be close. She does not hate me, but cannot allow herself to become close. I would like to get her a very personal wedding gift. She is smart, athletic and loves her father very, very much. Any suggestions on what might be a personal, special gift? Please help.

Brandi Hamerstone,

Can you provide her something from her mother and father’s wedding day? If this isn’t something you would be comfortable doing, could you give her a locket to have attached to her bouquet (or where ever she chooses) with her mother and father’s wedding photo? I think what will matter most to her is remembering her mother that day, so it would be wonderful if you respected her and by showing her that you realize how important her mother was to her, you will show her how important she is to you. Good luck!


Thank you. I will try my best to do that. Seems like nothing is acceptable. She’s is an awesome person (but)can not grasp the experienced of old age loss. I so want to confront her. I feel it is very important to include her mother into the wedding. She wants that, more than to allow me to be involved.


I really want to say thank you. This is so hard, and sometimes painful, because I want the relationship to work for us all. I appreciate your input and expertise.