It’s hard to believe that anyone who is madly in love, extremely happy, and planning their wedding could turn into a crazed bridezilla, but hey, wedding planning can do strange things to your friends. The term “bridezilla” originated in 1995 and is a portmanteau, a word created by blending the sounds and the meaning of two completely different words to form a new word. In this case, bridezilla combines the word bride with the word Godzilla that cheekily describes a woman planning her wedding without regard to others.
A Bridezilla is extremely demanding, has unreasonable expectations, and is difficult to please. Author Diane White first used the term bridezilla in an article called “Tacky Trips Down the Aisle,” published by the Boston Globe newspaper back in 1995, and we can honestly say that they still exist. If your best gal is starting to act crazy, you’ll need to know these 10 Bridezilla warning signs so you can reign her back in before things go nuts.
Image Source: Shutterstock.com
Bridezilla Warning Sign #1: Unrealistic Expectations
If your bride is dishing out unrealistic expectations like paying exorbitant prices, requiring unrealistic wedding weight loss, or putting tons of responsibilities on your shoulders, she is on her way to the land where bridezillas reside.
Heck, we’ve even heard of brides telling their tribe they can’t get pregnant until after the wedding. This kind of entitlement should be tackled early on to avoid blowups.
What to Do about It
This is a tough one, because it will be easy for her to become offended. And unfortunately, we have heard stories of lifelong friendships being ruined. So our first piece of advice is to tread lightly.
We suggest organizing a meeting with all the bridesmaids early in the planning stages of the wedding to let the bride know what you are willing to do and how much you can handle or afford. Cause let’s face it; losing a ton of weight for someone else’s wedding may not be in the cards!
Bridezilla Warning Sign #2: She Eats, Sleeps & Breathes Wedding Planning
If all she ever talks about is her wedding (planning it, loving it, dreaming about it, her wedding dress, etc.) then she may be obsessing a little too much. We understand it can get pretty uncomfortable to be around brides when they can’t talk about anything but her upcoming special day.
What to Do about It
Have a gentle conversation with her and let her know that while you love hearing about and helping her with all the wedding stuff, you’d like to have regular conversations too. Maybe suggest an “unplugged night out” where talking about the wedding is off-limits. Or bring up some funny things you guys used to do and reminisce a little while, so both of you can take a nice natural break from all things wedding-related.
Bridezilla Warning Sign #3: Thank Yous Go Out the Door
It’s true! During wedding planning, many brides actually feel so entitled that even their manners disappear. Hard to imagine a bride being rude to the people closest to her, we know—but it still happens.
What to Do about It
Try to model the behaviour you want to see from the bride. For example, if she forgets to thank the wedding florist and you happen to be around, step in and do it for her—not passive-aggressively, just as a way of leading by example. Hopefully she’ll get the hint.
Bridezilla Warning Sign #4: Micro-Managing Every Detail
This is a real problem for a lot of brides when planning their wedding. They want to have their hands in everything, and it can create a too-many-cooks situation that no one wants to point out for fear of being rude. But to keep everyone’s sanity intact and not destroy your relationship, you’ve just gotta let her know she can’t do it all.
What to Do about It
Stress during wedding planning is real, and micro-managing every detail can cause panic attacks, lots of crying, and even depression. There is a real overwhelming feeling when people try to tackle everything alone. The bride needs to know that you’re able to help take some things off her plate (you can even suggest she hire a professional wedding planner).
Make sure to tell her you don’t want her to become overwhelmed, which could make her ill and even produce negative feelings about the wedding day. She’ll probably want to avoid that, and she might be more likely to step back and accept help as a result.
Image Source: Shutterstock.com
Bridezilla Warning Sign #5: They’re Yelling (A Lot)
Ok, when they get to the point where all they do is scream at everyone, it’s time for a reality check. It’s time that she understands (or is reminded) what the wedding is really about: love. How can you get to the altar if all you have is hate in your heart, screaming at people all the time? Not to mention the risk of high blood pressure, ulcers, etc.
What to Do about It
You might feel the urge to give the bride some tough love as a reality check, but if she’s this volatile, we really don’t suggest it. Instead, it’s time for something unexpected. Plan a day at the spa, a day of pampering. And don’t forget the champagne.
Bridezilla Warning Sign #6: They Hang Up on Their Wedding Planner
Oh, gosh! If her behavior is running off the track at speeds that cause her to hang up on her wedding planner, things are bad. Her wedding planner is the one who is there to help design her dream wedding and bring the occasion to life, all while making the experience enjoyable and stress-free. If she chases them away, things can spiral very quickly.
What to Do about It
Time to have a talk with her. Take a trip to a winery to get her mind off wedding planning and de-stress. This is another good time to suggest she take a break from wedding planning.
Bridezilla Warning Sign #7: They’re Constantly Complaining
We get it! They’re trying to plan the perfect wedding and they want everything to be perfect. So, when things aren’t, they’re going to complain—but being hypercritical can make it hard to work with people, and sometimes, perfect really is the enemy of good.
What to Do about It
As Barney Fife would say, “Nip it in the bud.” Yep! Don’t let it get out of hand; let her know when she first starts complaining that everything won’t always be perfect. Unexpected things are bound to happen when you’re planning something this big, but that’s okay—there are always other ways to achieve the desired results.
Image Source: Bride Wars Movie Featuring Kate Hudson & Anne Hathaway
Bridezilla Warning Sign #8: Wedding Vendors Are Avoiding Her Calls
If things have reached this point, they’re bad—and she better relax before no one wants to come to her wedding. It’s time for a reality check.
What to Do about It
This is the right time for backchanneling. Talk to the fiance and let them know what’s going on so they can talk her off the ledge of bridal disaster. If she can’t even show them respect, she may be the only one who shows up to her wedding on the big day.
Bridezilla Warning Sign #9: Heated Arguments Are Happening
At this stage, disaster is imminent. Friendships will quickly crumble and before long she’ll be dreading the wedding.
What to Do about It
A little distance can be a great way to start rebuilding bridges. Send her some flowers and a nice wedding card with something funny and lighthearted. This can be a great way to bring her back down to earth and help her cherish your lifelong memories and friendship.
Bridezilla Warning Sign #10: She Can’t Stop Worrying about Small Details
If she is hyperfocused on every little wedding detail, she is definitely on the Bridezilla ride of her life. Time to step in and help her see the big picture.
What to Do about It
Remind the bride that a perfect wedding day is about the experience, the love story, and the memories. Each and every “oops” that happens is part of it. In the long run, all the bumps in the road become treasured wedding memories and stories that can be laughed about for years to come. After all, if every wedding went off without a hitch, they would probably be a little boring!
Turn Your Bridezilla Into A Bridechilla
The best way to help your bride calm down is specific to each situation. Only you know them best, so you’ll probably know how to handle them.
Just make sure not to wait too long, because things can go south pretty quickly. Before guests start avoiding the wedding, it’s time to get her back to chillville!